A Thousand Little Celebrations

imageThrough this winter season we have almost constantly had a jigsaw puzzle in progress.  We have traditional puzzles for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I like these old favorites because they are family puzzles, meaning they consist of three different sized pieces in the same box.  We would line up the children on one side with the big pieces and the parents on the other side with the small pieces.  The middle ground was a compromise between the two.

Now that I wear bifocals, my favorite side is the one with the big pieces.  In this age of instant gratification I enjoy finding pieces quickly, especially after you work the puzzle for a while.  I want my puzzles to be like my life – more fun than work.

During the after-Christmas sales, I found a puzzle with an enticing picture.  Macaroons.  Yum.  Makes me think of Paris…..  I guess I was so busy thinking about Paris that I failed to give a second thought to the fact that the puzzle had a thousand pieces.  A thousand little pieces.  A thousand little pieces that did not have my preferred distinct variations in pattern or color.  It also would take more than a day or two to complete, all the while sending subliminal messages activating my sweet tooth and releasing my inner cookie monster.

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The frame had been complete for several days and we were at the point where it typically starts to come together a little easier.  Only it wasn’t.  I begged Bob to let me put it away.  He was relentless.  I wasn’t having fun.  My back hurt.  My eyes were drying out.  My laundry was piling up.  I hadn’t brushed my teeth in days.  I was consuming massive amounts of cookies and coffee.

I thought about the frame.  We had picked through all thousand pieces to put it together first.  Unfortunately we had missed two pieces as the cruel puzzle maker had somehow managed to craft those pieces to look nothing like an edge.  So wrong.  But we had enough to work with.  We could begin to fill it in.

Bob continued to remain steadfast and refused to let me throw the puzzle back in the box and burn it.  I watched him work diligently, happily placing one or two pieces and giving each a triumphant tap as the picture began to come together.  He not only didn’t mind the challenge, he liked it.  That has always amazed me about him, I thought as I rifled through the box wondering if maybe I was color blind.

I needed an adjustment (not chiropractic, though that wouldn’t have been a bad idea after several days bent over a table).  So with the next piece that I found I celebrated.  Not just a little tap on the piece, but a hip, hip hooray.  Completing this puzzle was going to take commitment and a thousand little celebrations.

I’m happy to tell you that we did complete it.  Then I quickly gave it away.

There is something else that I have completed recently.  It started out as a bunch of characters, mental pictures and words in that brain box of mine.  Slowly the edges began to come together and then the picture started to gain focus.  There were a couple of key missing elements to the frame but with the help of my friends and family I was able to discover them.  Soon I had a completed work.  My book.  I completed the middle-grade novel that I have been working on for the last nine years.  After a few minor edits, I’ll attempt to enter the world of published authors.  I plan on starting that process in May.  This is one big celebration for me.  It’s even better than placing a puzzle piece.

Where is Jesus?

The last of my father-in-law’s possessions was spread across my dining room table ready to be claimed by his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren as keepsakes and reminders of him.  This was his collection of animal figurines and carvings which he collected from around the world and which were very dear to him.  Also included was a crèche complete with Mary, Joseph and a manger in which to lay baby Jesus.  Every Christmas he would display the crèche with all of his animals surrounding it.

Somewhere along the way Jesus must have gone missing, not unlike the time when Jesus was twelve and Mary and Joseph had traveled to Jerusalem for the Feast of Passover.  On the way home, you may remember, they thought he was in the company they were traveling with and it took three days to find him.

The comparison breaks down quickly, but it does come to mind that sometimes one thinks they have Jesus and they really don’t.

IMG_2652Anyway, one of our sons chose the crèche.  The figures have wonderfully expressive faces and are stamped with Italy as their country of origin.  Jesus looked a little off to me.  He wasn’t made of the same material, but it was something about his eyes that gave him away.  We turned him over and there it was.  Jesus was made in China.  I’m guessing he was purchases in a Dollar Store and added to the scene like an understudy in a play.

This troubled me, but we figured lots of people display manger scenes without Jesus in the manger all through the Christmas season.  Then on Christmas morning He miraculously appears.  This hatched a plan to look on E-Bay to find a baby Jesus that was fitting to sit with his Italian-made parents.

IMG_2654I wasn’t comfortable throwing made-in-China baby Jesus away.  It seemed wrong somehow.  I figured we should put him some place where I could remember where he was; so just in case I didn’t find a suitable replacement, the manger would not sit empty on Christmas.  I put him in the china closet.  You know, China/china – I should remember that.

Then it occurred to me.  Bob and I are going to Italy in the spring to celebrate our fortieth wedding anniversary.  I can look for Jesus there.  That would be awesome.

So, this year if you come to my house on Christmas, please do not look too closely at Jesus in the manger.  We have hope that next year he will look a lot better.

I would encourage you to look for Jesus where he may be found this Christmas.  He is there at the mere mention of his name.  He is no longer a baby in a manger.  He is the Prince of Peace and our Savior.  Merry Christmas!

Luke 2:11-12:  “Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.  This will be a sign to you:  You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

 

 

Four for Four, Plus One More

Our family has been a buzz of activity over the last few weeks.  It all began earlier this year when our youngest son met the girl of his dreams.  Now, there was a lot of pressure on him because our older three kids have amazing spouses who love them and fit in with our family like they were hand-picked by God, which we believe they were.  So, when Scott met Julie, there was a lot at stake.  It didn’t take long before we realized that she is wonderful.   Over the Thanksgiving holiday he proposed and she said yes!  So it looks like we are going to be four for four in the kid-in-law department.

But that wasn’t the only thing afoot.  Our son, Joe, and his wife were expecting their first child.  He came a week late but arrived on December 6, healthy and beautiful.  They are living with us temporarily, so our lives have taken a bit of a return to earlier times.  We live in the same house we lived in when Joe was born.  So just when my baby who is 27 is getting ready to get married, we are transforming the house for our grandson.

Before Thanksgiving my house was overrun with my father-in-law’s furniture, which we pulled out of storage so Bob could refinish it.  You may remember that he was blind so there were quite a few spills and rings from glasses marring its finish.  So arranged among my regular living and dining room furniture, we had a large credenza with bookshelf, two dressers and two nightstands.  There was also a pile of artwork resting in a corner of the room.  We suddenly had too much stuff!

I was desperate to clear out the excess because not only were we getting ready for our grandbaby, we also were going to need a spot to put our Christmas tree.  I was determined it would not go on top of one of my father-in-law’s dressers, but that was looking like a viable possibility.

A few days before Thanksgiving we were able to consign and/or sell his remaining furniture and transform the living room and dining room back into something we could live with, even if that does include a sofa in the dining room.  Clutter stifles me, distracts me and gives me an excuse to be unproductive.   When the excess was removed, happiness and contentment returned.

Christmas tree and baby paraphernalia are all set up.  Notice no bedroom furniture in the living room.  Victory!

Christmas tree and baby paraphernalia are all set up. Notice no bedroom furniture in the living room. Victory!

Now all I have to do is finish my Christmas shopping, do some baking, clean the house (again), wrap the rest of the presents and finish the book I’m writing.  Last week I decided I would not panic until Tuesday (today).  So far I’m not panicking.  I guess I’m procrastinating doing that, too.

Thank you, God, for Red Lights

I was heading to my son’s house to stay with my grandsons for a few days.  It had been a busy morning and I left my home an hour later than I had planned.  I needed to be there by 2:30 to receive the boys from the school bus, and I had to stop at Costco for gas.  It was 2:05 when I finished filling up.  There was plenty of time, except I needed four things from inside the store – four things that were just steps away.  If I could be in and out in 10 minutes, I would just make it in time to get the boys.  Of course, getting in and out of Costco in ten minutes would be a major miracle.  I was up for a miracle.

I was back in the car at 2:18; that was thirteen minutes, which was a major accomplishment for me but only a minor miracle.  As I drove down SR436 I prayed that I would get to their home before they would.  I knew it was tight.  I felt like God was saying, “Trust me.  Be at peace.”

That meant that I didn’t need to give in to anxiety and wouldn’t need to go 80 mph when I got on I-4.  I was at peace.  (The thought of a delay due to getting pulled over by the police occasionally crept into my mind.  Ain’t nobody got time for that.)

file4281249501933 (1)I met one green light after another.  I thanked God for the green lights.  I knew he was using them to get me there on time.  Then I came to a red light.  I thought about the boys.  God gave me peace.  He didn’t say I would get every light green.  He only told me to trust him.  That meant that even if they had to wait for me, he was caring for them.  So, I thanked God for the red light.  After all, he was in charge of that, too.

I pulled into their neighborhood and had to go through the security gate, where three trucks were lined in front of me.  I sat there waiting as a school bus rolled by me.  One of the trucks went through and another school bus passed.

Finally I got through the gate, it felt like it took forever, but it was only about four minutes.  I turned onto their street and there were the boys – one house away from their home.  I would have beaten them home if they hadn’t broken into a run when they saw me.  I am amazed at how God cares for his children.  He gave me just the right amount of green and red lights to get me there in a timely manner, but most of all he gave me peace that I could trust him with every detail.  I just love that.

Dumb and Dumber Pre-View

Think about the last 20 years of your life.  What has happened?  How have you changed?  Do you remember where you were 20 years ago?

Because we were responsible parents, Bob and I were sitting in a movie theater watching Dumb and Dumber.

Twenty years ago Bob and I had four kids at home, ages 15, 13, 10 and 7.  We were in the throes of parenting.  Our oldest two had broken into the teen years.  Everything was shifting.  We were going from navigating our children through Disney movies to a pop culture which we weren’t comfortable with and which we didn’t want influencing them.

IMG_2554-0Before the kids could go to a movie, Bob and I would go see it and give it a thumbs-up or down.  This was a pain sometimes.  We didn’t particularly want to see Dumb and Dumber, but we were told, “Everyone was going to see it.”  Our oldest assured us that he could handle it (my least favorite phrase ever).

So we slinked into a Friday afternoon matinée hoping no one would see us.  We grabbed our popcorn and diet coke and braced ourselves to watch a stupid movie.

Now, I am good for an easy laugh.  I write a humor blog for goodness sakes.  But I was not prepared for this movie.  Bob and I laughed so hard we almost fell out of our seats.

Our kids were waiting at home for the results.  We came home and told them, “This was one of the funniest movies we have ever seen.  We laughed until diet coke nearly squirted out of our noses.  You would love this movie, but you can’t go see it.  It’s crude and inappropriate in so many places.  We’re sorry.”

There went our Popular Parent award.

Now our kids are all grown.  Full disclosure – we own this movie (though we won’t let our grandchildren watch it.)  So can you guess what we’re doing this weekend?  That’s right, going to see Dumb and Dumber To.  It’s not to preview it for our children; we want to see what old age is like for Harry and Lloyd.  We need to answer the dramatic question – Did poor little Billy get scarred for life by holding a dead bird which had its head taped on?  And will we ever know what became of that little home-wrecker Fraida Felcher?  Mostly, we want a good laugh with a little story wrapped around it.

Our youngest son Scott has offered to go see this first and make sure it is suitable for us.  We assured him we can handle it.

 

 

Even in Sadness, Light Shines Through

June 4, 2014, was the last time I posted on my blog.  I am determined to post before July ends, so here I go with a snapshot of what the last several weeks have looked like.

June was Family Eye Doctor Appointment Month – at least it was for my parents and father-in-law.  During one week I had four separate appointments for them with a total of six appointments in three weeks.  They all go to the same group.  I am the transportation and extra set of ears for my parents and the “seeing-eye-daughter” for my father-in-law.  (He’s legally blind.)  I think I’m making friends there.

In mid-June, Bob’s two sisters came down to visit their dad.  Bob’s and my prayer was that he would be healthy and they would have a good visit.  His tendency to contract UTIs (urinary tract infections) would often land him in the hospital.  We hoped he wouldn’t be going through that or anything else during their stay.

God is good.  Their visit was amazing.  They spent a week with him and saw him every day.  Bob and his sisters took him out to lunch, which can be challenging.  It was a special time with him and his three kids.  They had great conversations and walked down memory lane.  There were no incidents.  The new declines that we were beginning to see were barely noticeable during their stay.  We were so thankful.

Two days after they went home, he fell.  A few days later on June 30, Bob and I were heading over to visit my parents to celebrate my dad’s 91st birthday when we got a call that he fell again and was being sent to the ER.

He was admitted.  We all thought it was a UTI, but it was not.  I think he was worn out.  It was his time.  On July 4, he was moved to Hospice House.  On July 7, he passed away at the age of 91.  It had been a long year for him, full of challenges physically and consequently emotionally.  We are thankful that he is now at rest in Heaven.

How kind of God to give such a wonderful final visit with his daughters.  And we are thankful for Hospice House – a place to die with dignity surrounded by people who understand, comfort and help.

On the last day that he was fully responsive, I spent several hours with him in the hospital.  He was living in his past and talking vividly about it.  I joined in his conversation like I was there with him.  Having known him for over forty years, it was not difficult.  I’ll always remember how happy he was on that day and how much he enjoyed reminiscing.  I had heard of things like this happening right before the end of life here on earth.  It was remarkable to witness.

The last thing he ever asked of me was to scratch his nose.  I think they had given him some meds that made it itch.  I gave it a good rubbing.  He said, “No, that’s not getting it.  The inside itches.  Scratch the inside.”

“Sorry, Dad, you’re on your own,” I told him.  He was not shy about asking people to do for him.  I don’t feel badly about not granting this last request plus it made him laugh when I said no.

Dale (Bob's dad) telling stories at our house last Easter

Dale (Bob’s dad) telling stories at our house last Easter

He also talked about his projects.  Right to the end, he was concerned about them.  For the last six months our daughter-in-law, Aubyron, had been more or less his secretary.  When she and our son moved back to Orlando, she wanted to help; so we hired her to see him weekly, take dictation from him and transcribe those last pesky stories that he had not completed.  Her duties also included delivering Icy Hot and Listerine and the occasional manicure and tweezing of the nose hair.  (This was not part of the original job description.)  She provided Bob and me with much-needed relief and she enjoyed visiting Grandpa.

When he died, we sent messages to our friends telling them that Bob’s dad had passed.  One of our friends asked us, “Hey, what was Bob’s dad’s name?”  He was always Bob’s dad or Mr. Anderson to them.  His name was Dale.  Among other things, he was a writer.  He encouraged me in my writing.  That being said, I guess I better buckle down and write.  That would make him happy.

Laura Bush, Muhammad Ali and Mary, Queen of Scots, Walked into a Room

One day Ella, our eight-year-old granddaughter, was visiting us.  She pulled out a biography of Laura Bush, whom she had been reading about over the last few weeks of school.  She shared all the facts she could remember with enthusiasm and answered several questions.  I told her about a time several years ago when I donned a wig and a pantsuit to dress as Mrs. Bush and joined my friend John Morgan at an event.  John is a George W. Bush impersonator.

Early in his career I would catch John glancing at me with that I-have-a-brilliant-idea look in his eyes.  “You look like Laura,” he would say.  “I know,” I’d answer.  “You’re creeping me out!”

John and his wife Kathy are among our closest friends.  Kathy used to impersonate Laura Bush and stand next to her husband during his gigs.  This was an extreme act of love for Kathy, who prefers to be more behind the scenes.  One day, Kathy couldn’t (or maybe wouldn’t) help her husband out, so she brought me the wig and talked me into standing in for her.  I guess that made me a Laura Bush impersonator impersonator.   I have to say – I know how Kathy feels!  I am glad for that once-in-a-lifetime experience but am happy to keep it as just that.

This story, along with what she was reading, made an impression on Ella; because when her third grade class prepared to put on a Wax Museum, she already knew who she wanted to be.  That’s right, Madame Curie.  Just kidding!

20140603-210624-75984499.jpgShe was very excited to gather her costume and become Laura Bush.  Our wonderful friends lent her the Laura Bush wig, so she was good to go.  Ella was also committed to helping her friends with their costumes.  One friend was going to be a queen, and she didn’t have a robe; so Ella borrowed an old kids’ robe from our house for her.  I struggled to see how Mary, Queen of Scots, was going to look regal in a faded blue bathrobe; but that was a problem for someone else.

The day of the Wax Museum arrived and the children were in position.  You would stop in front of each student and they would recite a small biography of the person they were dressed as.  A tri-fold board was behind them with more information on their subject.  Ella nailed her recitation.  As I checked out the museum,  I was happy to see that Mary, Queen of Scots, was not wearing a bathrobe.  That had been passed on to Muhammad Ali, who wore it well, along with a pair of boxing gloves.  I was also relieved that Mary was far from Queen Elizabeth I.  If you remember your history, you know that could have gotten ugly!

 

Art Store Alien

Today I ventured into unknown territory. I went to a store that has the word “art” in it. Even on the coldest of days I will break out in a sweat if I enter a Joanne Fabrics or Michael’s Arts and Crafts. If there is a sewing section in the store then I don’t belong there – I’m like an alien in a foreign land. I don’t speak their language. They use words I do not understand, like thread and notions.

But this shopping trip was not about sewing or crafts, it was about shaving. The Art of Shaving is a hip (do people still say that?) little store at the Mall at Millenia on the other side of Orlando. I went in to buy a gift for my son, Joe, who is graduating with his PhD. (We’re so proud of him. Congratulations, Joe!)

20140506-212912.jpgThis store is definitely a man’s world – the testosterone was palpable, yet it had a salon feel. I told the salesman that this was my first time in his store and he gave me a quick tutorial of the four elements of the perfect shave.

“Interesting. Are you anything like the Clinique counter at Macy’s? Do you have gift sets or promotions?” I asked, grasping for a point of comparison to my world.

He showed me their gift sets. Like Clinique they are quality products which are pricier and better than what you find in a drug store, but unlike Clinique there is no Bonus Time in which free products are given with a purchase.

He expounded. “We have four different scents of shaving cream – lavender, lemon, sandalwood and unscented,” the salesman said as he lifted the unscented variety to my nose for me to smell.

“Is this a trick?” I asked.

He didn’t even blink.

That’s when I began to suspect that The Art of Shaving is a very serious place.

Next he showed me the shaving brushes. “This is a badger brush,” he said.

I replied, “I don’t have a badger. Do you have a dog brush?”

He didn’t crack a smile. He just looked at me with the same look my kids give me when I say something hysterically funny and they don’t get it. I broke it down for him, but you lose a lot when you have to explain things.

I felt like my gig was up, so I made my purchase and left. To his credit, the salesman gave me a few extra samples of products (my own little bonus time – oh yeah!).

The store was quite the classy place – I can see why guys would like the atmosphere and the products; but for me, it’s just another “art” store for my list. I can visit, but I may need my passport and a guide.

 

 

 

From Two to Ninety-Two

Easter Sunday afternoon has changed a lot for us over the years. Bob and I have always lived close to my parents. For the most part, we were the only of my four siblings that lived near them, and we’ve never lived close to Bob’s family. That made for fairly easy holiday celebrations. Mom and I would take turns having events at our houses. We’d flip Thanksgiving and Christmas each year, but until the kids were teenagers, we usually ended up at their house for Easter afternoon.

They had a beautiful backyard on a small lake.  The beach area was dotted with palm trees and citrus trees lined the edges.  Mom loved hiding Easter eggs and the kids loved the hunt. Those times were uncomplicated. Once in a while relatives or some friends were there, but things still fell on Mom and me; and we liked it fine. My mom and I could throw together a holiday dinner with hardly a thought. We just split things in half. We each had our specialties.

This Easter we met at our house. We equals Bob, me and our four kids, three spouses, six grandkids (plus one in the oven), my mom who is 86, Dad who is 90, and Bob’s dad who says he’s 92 but is really 91.

That means there are five wives to cook. What a spread we could put on! What culinary masterpieces we could display. How our taste buds could be titillated! But I choose Costco, the happiest place on earth. Nothing beats picking up a spiral ham (no slicing), Hawaiian rolls, redskin potato salad and a vegetable tray. Throw in paper plates and you have yourself a perfect day. Okay, we did have homemade deviled eggs and desserts – we’re still human.

It has taken me a while to be able to admit this publicly, but simply put – it’s time for me to simplify where I can. 20140425-141648.jpgI’ll also admit that when I see Facebook posts of lovely tables set up in anticipation of Easter lunch, I feel a little guilty, but the feeling disappears as fast as a bowl full of Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs.

20140425-113424.jpgThose wonderful, simple days of eight of us celebrating together are gone. I love having 18.25 of us together and look forward to the number growing. The challenge for me is remembering it’s about enjoying the people, and I don’t want to be so worn out from prepping and cleaning up that I don’t get to relax and play with them. Also, our people span 90 years. That means keeping the floor clear for a walker and a wheelchair, making sure I have my dad’s favorite root beer on hand, and giving Bob’s dad some time to tell a story to his grandkids and spouses. It also means having a portacrib for the youngest with a sound machine to drown out noise, and taking some time to play a board game with the kids. And, of course, there are always activities beyond the egg hunt in the backyard. Our oldest son is great about getting the kids outside and active. We have the added joy of our neighbors’ grandkids playing with ours – three generations of friends.

The Quest for the Golden Egg

The Quest for the Golden Egg

We are an exhausting group, so Bob’s and my parents don’t stay as long as they used to. My mom brings bags of treats, but now they’re for her great-grandchildren. We still have the egg hunt as the Big Deal of the Day.  My kids and I hide the eggs and Mom watches us.  I think she loves watching the children scour the yard for treasure more than any of us. I like to observe my mom. She stores up treasures in her heart more than the kids store eggs in their baskets. I want to be like her.

20140425-121402.jpg

And let’s not forget about Jesus.  I’m not sure how we went from the resurrection of our Savior to dying and hiding eggs, but I don’t want Jesus to get lost in the shuffle.  When my oldest son was little, he and his buddy were into action figures.  They had all the usuals and a few unusual ones.  Among those were Jesus and Moses.

20140425-141704.jpgThis past week I found Jesus in the top of my closet, just in time for Easter.  I handed him to my grandson.  He couldn’t guess who it was and tossed him aside in favor of the Millennium Falcon.  I picked Jesus up and set him on the mantel among the chicks and bunnies.  He looked out-of-place, but I know better.

 

 

Disaster Date

Two people were standing at the edge of a parking space, looking like they had locked their keys in their car. Completely oblivious to the world, they peered inside the car window with hands cupped around their eyes as we gently pulled into our parking space.

The man finally became aware of us. He smiled as he dramatically pretended like we hit him. I rolled my window down and said, “I wasn’t sure you noticed us.”

He replied, “I noticed you. By the way, I’m John Morgan (a famous local attorney).” Of course, he wasn’t, but he was thoroughly entertained by his own comment. The woman – not so much.

At this point I’m trying to roll up my window so I can get out of my car and he is leaning inside of our car laughing. He obviously was enjoying himself more than the rest of us were. I raised my window and squeezed myself out past him while Bob quickly came to my side of the car. I thought to myself – this guy thinks he’s funny; I’ll show him funny.

“So,” I asked, “are you two breaking into this car?”

“Oh, no, no, we’re on a date,” he said.  Then he asked us how long we had been married.

“Nearly 39 years,” we answered.

That blew him away. He was so impressed that we were out on a date together after being married for such a long time. He waxed on and on about the importance of dating each other all through marriage. He pulled out his phone and showed us a picture of a couple he had just met at Publix. They were not friends. He met them and took their picture.  I guess that makes them strangers of his. He asked us to guess how long the couple in the picture had been married. (Seventy years, if you’re interested. None of us were.)

We told him that our relationship with Jesus was the thing that made our marriage successful. Then he told us about his church and warned us not to visit it or we would never like our church again – all this while chucking. The woman never said a thing, probably because it’s hard to speak when there’s never a quiet moment.

One of the Most Famous Disasters in History – The Sinking of the Titanic

Then came the kicker. He proudly announced, “This is our first date. We met on www.lookingforadatewithsomeonewholovesmeasmuchasido.yikes.”

I asked this quiet young lady if she would like us to stay with her. I told her that we have a daughter, and we would look out for her like our own daughter if necessary.

At that the man said, “Well, if this date doesn’t work out, maybe I could meet your daughter.”

After the shock wore off, I said, “Our daughter is married and has four children, but if she weren’t – no. No way whatsoever.”

If this guy had any hope of a second date, I think that went down with the ship. Maybe we should have hit him with our car. It would have spared that poor young lady a really awkward conversation. On the other hand, when she’s with her friends and they are sharing disaster date stories, I think she has a real shot at winning.