At 15 years of age, I was not yet allowed to go on a proper date, but Bob could come to our house and hang out. That was the set-up for double dating with my grandparents, who lived with us at the time.

I had long observed the fun my parents and grandparents had while playing that weird card game with the funny name, pinochle. Not only did the deck consist of 48 rather than the standard 52 cards, but they only spanned from nine to ace, and there were two of each. There was bidding involved, after which they would put down and count their meld (the cards that were shown on the table before taking tricks). Counting meld values was not like anything I had seen before – 2, 6, 21, 28. Not too educational and above my head as a kid. Then they’d pick up the meld, place it back in their playing hand, and start the trick-taking part of the game. Points would be counted and then they’d see if they “made” their bid.

For my parents and grandparents, it was their “thing.” My siblings and I were never allowed to play, but I can remember standing next to my grandfather (the kindest man in the world) and watching. I remember laughter – lots of it. Now and then I heard my feisty grandmother accuse the guys of cheating when she and mom would lose a hand. (The ladies always teamed up against the men.) Sometimes she would get up and walk around her chair to change the outcome of a game if she and my mom were losing. You do what you can!

Mom and Dad never offered to teach me to play, and I get that. It’s a little complicated and this game was a way of relaxing for them. Teaching teenagers a challenging game at the end of a workday would not be relaxing; but when Bob started hanging around our house, my grandparents taught us. This is my best example of how grandparents, having more time on their hands than parents, can be more patient and long-suffering with kids and, frankly, give the poor exhausted parents a little break. We had a blast with them.

Bob was not around his grandparents much when he was a kid, so my grandparents became his. My grandfather loved Bob, and years later when Bob asked me to marry him, he got the blessing of my grandfather who told me that Bob was a good man. When Grandpop’s health began to fade and it was time to pass things along or throw things away, he gave Bob his “office.” This consisted of the desk that Grandpop sat at to pay his bills and do correspondence. It was a cheap old thing but packed with meaning.

In 2014 my daughter, Dena, and I chalk painted the desk and it has new life at her house. With four children, you can always use an extra desk.

My children watched Bob and I play pinochle with my parents their entire childhood. When they started dating seriously, they asked us to teach them. At least I think they asked, Bob and I may have forced it upon them. Playing cards is a great way of spending time getting to know each other. Also, if you can’t hold your own playing a game with us, you really should know that before becoming part of our family. They needed to go into marriage with eyes wide open. I’m not saying we’re competitive, but our friends would.

We play pinochle regularly with three out of four of our children. Perhaps we were too worn out to teach the youngest to play. I do remember offering when he was engaged to be married, but that was a time when all kinds of new-fangled games were coming onto the scene, and somehow, we never pressed it. Thankfully, we have other games to play with them, so the day is saved!

Our daughter’s children have asked if they can learn to play, and she has told them that will come when they have an intended spouse. It’s either a rite of passage for them, or Dena and her husband are waiting for Bob and me to teach them. It’s hard to say.

I’m not sure I’m ready for that because since those days of playing single deck (48 cards) with my parents and teaching our children, we have upped the difficulty by playing double deck – that’s 80 cards. The nines are removed and now there are four of each card jack to ace. You have 20 cards to hold in your hand at the beginning and that’s challenging in itself. The bidding is competitive instead of one bid per person. I confess to loving this game even more than the original, but my hands get tired and it’s challenging to shuffle all those cards, Still – worth it!

My first and only time getting quadruple pinochle back in 2017. That’s my “take that” look as Dena and I collected the 150 points for the quadruple pinochle plus an additional eight for double marriage in trump. If you don’t play the game, you may be getting an idea of how complicated it is.*

Just last week Bob and I were at our son, Jesse’s, house playing with him and his wife. Dacia and I always team up against the men, just like my grandparents and parents did before us. The guys won the first game (we play to 350), but it was relatively quick, so we played another. Dacia and I were losing badly when I got the hand. THE HAND! I could not tell my partner, of course, but I was ready to bid all night.

You may know nothing about pinochle but let me tell you that when I got a double run (150 points) with other meld to boot, we went from the cellar to the ceiling and won the game in style. Take that! Yes, gloating is an important part of this game. It is expected and tolerated, because if it’s not your turn to gloat this time, there’s always the next game. And I mean always.

*We have found variations of scoring in different websites, but as with so many friendly games, we use established house rules. That’s to keep us kind.