Bob and I returned from Scotland last week. (I’ll tell you about that trip next time.) Of course, I was jetlagged. I’m not sure I fully recovered from being jetlagged after arriving in Scotland. That wasn’t aided by getting a cold midway through our trip or by having a bout of food poisoning while there. (That is what I get for choosing to go healthy and ordering the fish.) I slept through most of two days, but it was cloudy and drizzly, and since Bob was out golfing, it was okay with me. Other than that, it was a good trip!

Somewhere in the middle of my first night home, I thought about Tom Bodett. He had a pleasant voice and for years was the spokesman for Motel 6. His famous, “We’ll leave a light on for you,” sounded welcoming, like happy expectations of family coming to visit. Thinking about him would be weird in and of itself. But on that first night home, the lamp on my nightstand kept turning on with no prompt from me. It wasn’t too accommodating about me turning it off either. My gentle touch was turning into temptation to throw said lamp across the room, but I wouldn’t do that because I’m a mature adult.

This isn’t a new phenomenon. We bought two of these lamps a couple of years ago. We wanted touch-control lamps by our bedsides so we wouldn’t strain ourselves reaching halfway up the lamp for a switch. We also liked that they had USB ports for charging our phones. It was like being in a nice hotel (not a Motel 6).

Since being in Scotland, I had grown accustomed to late sunsets (after 10 PM) and early sunrises (around 4:30). But that did not prepare me for having a light repeatedly shone in my eyes from ten inches away.

The next morning, I said to Bob, “My stupid lamp came on four times last night!”

He replied, “Make that five times. Once you were so out of it, I had to walk around the bed to turn the lamp off.”

This can be what happens when you value an Amazon bargain too much. You don’t get what you bargained for! As soon as my energy returns and I know what time zone I’m in, I’m heading to Home Goods to do a little lamp shopping. I think this time the touch control won’t be as important as having the lamp under my control. Also, if you’re in the market for some prankster lamps, they’ll be by the curb on Friday.