Buying a new appliance? How about a new car? Well, there’s an app for that.

We have recently done both of these things and I’ve discovered that the simple life is over. They may bill all these new-fangled things attached to modern appliances as time-saving or efficient, but I’m not sure.

I’m not complaining about new features on cars or appliances – these are great. But can anyone explain to me why I would want to access my washing machine remotely? It’s not like I have a robot to put the clothes in and fold them at the end. I don’t understand and have decided not to download the app out of spite. It works quite well when I walk into the laundry room and push the buttons. It’s so satisfying, too. I feel like Jane Jetson.

photo credit: nypost.com

If I thought the computerized laundry centers were challenging my computer-resistant mind, I was taken to a higher level when we shopped for a new car. The computerized cars of today have taken Bob completely out of the car-repair business. He used to be able to fix anything on our cars. He even fixed our transmission once, but those days are gone the way of dial-up internet.

When we talked to a Toyota salesman, who was likely 30 years younger than me, and he waxed poetic about the app for the car we were considering, I questioned myself briefly before I blurted out that I didn’t want to start my car with my phone. He looked at me like I had two heads.

He went on, “It’s free for the first three months, then only $90 a year after that.” I may have blanked out at this point, or I could be misremembering the numbers, because I can’t keep a number other than my phone number and address any more, but you get the point. I think it takes a lot of audacity to ask for what is basically a subscription to add to the convenience of using a phone to operate a vehicle that costs way upwards of $30,000 and comes with a key fob as part of the package.

“Why would I want the convenience of the phone in my purse when I already had the convenience of a key fob in the same location?” I asked.

He didn’t get my point, perhaps because he doesn’t carry a purse, but I’m sure he thinks I didn’t understand him either. He was excited to leave his keys at home so he wouldn’t ever lose them and running the car totally from his phone was really cool to him. I thought that anybody who couldn’t keep his keys in place has no business owning a car like this, but I kept that thought to myself, which only happened by great restraint on my part. Finally, I told him how old I am and hoped he would drop the discussion.

It was when I revealed my age to make a point that I (and maybe I’m speaking for my generation) might not like that add-on, and he should save his breath in trying to sell it that I realized how stubborn I am, but he kept going on about it. Apparently, it was a battle of the stubborn but I think I won because we left without a Toyota or an app.

I will say that it is fun to watch Bob as I maneuver these discussions. Since this car will be primarily driven by me, I lead the discussion and Bob joined in to fill in the blanks and ask questions which I would not have considered. Bob did add, “You will never need to figure out how she feels about anything.”

At the Hyundai dealership I liked our young salesman so much I wanted to adopt him. He understood that I didn’t want an app and was so respectful that I almost bought a car to make him happy, but even though the car that I was looking at was a Kona, which makes me think of Hawaii, I had to admit that it wasn’t right for me.

My first thought had been to buy another Ford Escape. I loved my 2014 Escape, and I’m sure I would have been happy with one, except they haven’t changed anything on them in the last eleven years. I didn’t want to fork out that kind of dough and not realize I was in a new car. Maybe next time, Ford.

We ended up with a Kia Sportage. I wouldn’t even have thought of Kia except we had one for our rental car in Hawaii and I really liked the dashboard. It is like nothing I have seen before, and the rest of the car is not too shabby either.

The sky changes as the sun goes down.

The respectful and not-too-pushy salesman even had the right tactic to make me put the app on my phone, not that I’ll ever use it. It’s free with Kia, so take that Toyota.

The Test Drive: Remember when you used to get in a car, any car, place your foot on the brake and turn a key in the ignition? Well, that’s over. Remember when the front seat passenger was like a co-pilot who would yell at you if you were wandering out of the lane or if you missed the fact that the car ahead of you had pulled away? That’s over, too. My Sportage has push-button ignition (I know that’s not new), lane corrective technology to literally keep you in line, and a chime if the car in front of you has pulled away from the traffic light. Since bringing the car home, I have discovered that the steering wheel will rumble if there is danger nearby. I don’t even need to keep my foot on the brake when stopped anymore. It’s all a little disconcerting to learn all this while driving. Next time I test drive a vehicle, I’ll be sure to drive recklessly with the salesperson in the backseat so that all the safety features will have time to show off.

Technology is amazing and there must be happy engineers all over the car industry trying to figure out what else they can add to the driving experience. My advice, if you are over sixty and haven’t bought a new car in the last decade or so, go get one now while you still have the ability to adapt to all that is new. It will blow your mind.

Case in point: One young lady of about 17 years who showed us a Kia was chatting from the backseat about electric vehicles. She said, “I sold an EV to a man who was 71, and I was so scared that he wouldn’t be able to figure out how to use it. I spent a lot of time with him going over all the features.”

My 71-year-old husband and I glanced at each other, feeling like we just had a compliment even if she didn’t know she gave one. Of course, we had the good sense not to push it with an EV vehicle for me. Even though I’m sure there is an app out there that would walk me through using one, we all know I wouldn’t use it.