Wouldn’t you, like to buy a book, from me?

It was a beautiful day for my first book signing. Bob and I were joined by our friend and Prevail Press publisher as we set up in front of the Barrel of Books and Games in Mount Dora. I wasn’t nervous, I’ve sold things before, but this time it was like I was selling myself. (You know what I mean). For years I was a Tupperware lady. That is a lot like being a stand-up comedian who specializes in food freshness. You engage people and make them laugh until they realize that, not only do they like that bowl, but they must have it. It translates – yesterday a bowl, today a book.

We barely had my books on the table when an extremely friendly woman literally ran up to us saying that I had been chosen as one of two that she was going to stream live. She was using all the right wording to make me believe that she was a sweet Christian lady and probably worked for the Chamber of Commerce. We all looked at each other in that way you do when you can’t quite believe you’ve found such good fortune.

But, soon we realized that we had indeed found something, and it was a far cry from good fortune. I surmised that this lady had no connection with reality, much less the Chamber of Commerce. She told us that her family thinks she has dementia, but the truth, according to her, was that she is just happy and likes to help people. Then she ran off leaving her purse and phone with us.

Moments later she descended upon our us again and was pretty set on taking over. She had gone to her car and brought a large box full of supplies – bubbles for the kids and I’m not sure what all else. She plopped her box down on my table and proceeded to unload. I let her know that she needed to clear her stuff away, except for the bubbles. (They were a nice touch.)

She was understanding and complied. She sat on the store bench, but every time people would stop to talk with me she would shout, “Stream it.” More evidence that something was not quite right. Then she ran off again, muttering something about needing to go to the bathroom and waving a package of Depends. When she returned she was wearing a scary amount of make-up.

A version of this happened several times. Each time she would go off, she left her jacket, purse and phone with us. Then she would return and tell everyone who walked by that my book was the best book she had ever read. Her enthusiasm was only matched by my confusion as to how to handle her.

I didn’t have long to contemplate this before she once again headed to the bathroom. We insisted that she take her phone and purse with her. After she left, the store owner popped out for a chat. She thought this woman was with us. Evidently, she was making friends inside of the store, too. By now, we all were concerned and the police were engaged to help find her.

It made for an interesting day, to say the least. But in spite of all that, I met some wonderful people and had my picture taken with several kids whose parents bought the book for them. (That was a new experience.) I even sold more books than the store owner projected that I would.

As for our enthusiastic friend, we didn’t see her again, but the policeman assured us he would keep an eye out for her to make sure she was okay. I was just relieved that she took her purse and phone.

It was a memorable day in so many ways. I sold lots of books and I stockpiled a good supply of bubbles. That’s a win/win.