Tong in Cheek

When I’m not traipsing around the country and hovering over canyons, my life is pretty normal. And who says that normal isn’t exciting? Just this week I added some spice to our life with the purchase of new grilling tongs. We had quite the stimulating conversation after that purchase!

Summer brings with it the need for multiple pairs of tongs. It also brings the question – why is it a pair of tongs when they are a single unit? It’s like a pair of pants. I just don’t get it. Plural in form but singular in use – kind of confusing, and nobody says they put their pant on one leg at a time. If they did, they might be panting from the strain of holding them together.

Strain – Since we’re talking about kitchen tools – what’s the difference between a strainer and a colander? Can I “coland” myself if I work too hard? Crazy English language! My mom always called that thing a strainer, and its main use was as a drainer of liquid. I understand colanders have larger holes and strainers tend towards mesh or screen to facilitate the drain, but the words are frequently used interchangeably. I think colander sounds like it requires less work – a little classier.

But this post is about tongs and the plethora of things that are better served with the proper tongs. There’s corn on the cob, hot dogs, chicken on the grill, ice, pinching your husband. All of these have tongs that are appropriate and specific for the activity involved. Of this I am convinced. Bob is not.

I showed him our lovely new grilling tongs. He said we didn’t need them because our other tongs worked great. Oh contraire! The other ones were shorter and had silicon on the pinching end. I couldn’t be sure, but if I had the original packaging, it probably did not mention grill use.

I pointed this out to Bob who said that once I cut the tag off of the new tongs, there would be no proof that they were meant for the grill. That is why I’m going to frame this picture and hang it in the kitchen.

Our conversation kept its momentum (weak as it was) through dinner. We were eating corn on the cob. I cooked it on the stove and, of course, used the proper tongs to remove it from the hot water. I decided not to mention that to Bob for fear he would feel antagonized or, even worse, that he would think I was going off the deep end.

While enjoying our corn, which is at the pinnacle of its season, I mentioned that I thought I could eat corn every night. It’s so amazing right now.

Bob added that they use corn to fatten cows.

That’s pretty much where the conversation stopped, but I have plans to use those new tongs the next time his back is turned.

 

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8 Comments

  1. I know this one! Pick me! Pick me! Pants used to be two pieces that tied together at the top. Tongs used to be two pieces that were manipulated like chop sticks. Probably during the Tong Dynasty (I made that part up). Then someone figured out how to sew a butt to join two pants. And metal could be bent in ways wwoid can’t and tongs became one.

    Corn and cows. Laughed out loud for that one. 🙂

    Reply
  2. Great post 🙂

    Reply
  3. I haven’t grilled in years- so I’m sure my tools are coated with a veneer of orange dust.

    Reply
    • It’s probably time to dust them off or buy new ones. It’s summer, Roy! Prime time for tongs and grills! Thanks for your comment.

      Reply
  4. Vanessa Marks

     /  June 21, 2019

    Tom deserved that pinch. 😀

    Reply

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