Hello There!

Welcome to Day 2 of April, aka April 2. I am excited to be part of the Ultimate Blog Challenge during this month. That means 30 days, 30 posts. I’m hopeful to meet some new friends while continuing to put fresh content out to my regular folks. So, first off, thank you to my regular readers for keeping with me and encouraging me. It means a lot.

This is where I jumped ship (metaphorically, of course).

Secondly, I want to introduce myself to the Blogging Challenge people. I started blogging eight years ago, that was way back in 2011 (thought I’d do the math for you). The blog was basically the same type as it is now except it was named Ship Bound for Tarshish. It took me a couple of years to realize how weird that name was, not to mention how hard it was to spell, so I jumped ship and became Life on the Lighter Side.

I was motivated to write a humor blog because I was weary of the heaviness of the world getting all the attention. I wanted to offer something to lighten people’s load – a momentary laugh or encouragement, if you will, because there really are a lot of things out there that are funny, amusing, and uplifting. I wanted to keep looking up and encourage others to do the same.

Trying to remember to look up, even if it’s dark out

So, you can look at my blog as a bag full of feathers to tickle your funny bone with the occasional hot air balloon thrown in. (If you want to know more about me, you can click here.)

I had barely started blogging when this crazy thing called the Ultimate Blog Challenge was announced and my good friend and fellow blogger Debi Walter of The Romantic Vineyard fame encouraged me to do it. So, we both dove into the deep end of the pool and did it. We even accomplished all 30 posts and met some amazing people. Some of those folks we continue to be in contact with to this day.

I hope you’ll check back with me this month as I have a lot to share with you (I’ve been storing up). See you tomorrow.

 

 

This is Post #2 of the April Ultimate Blog Challenge.

Garfield Invades the Coast of France

I’m always on the lookout for things washed up on the beach. I’ve lived in Florida for decades and the most interesting things that I’ve found are sharks’ teeth and seashells. I’ve found baby diapers and sunglasses, too, but I’ve never found a vintage 1980s Garfield telephone.

I’m fairly certain if Jim Davis’ Garfield could be coaxed to comment on the thirty-year-old problem of plastic Garfield phones washing up on the coast of France, he would blame it on Odie. You probably would have to bribe him with lasagna to get an answer out of him, too.

(image found on multiple sources)

Perhaps if there is a French equivalent to American-born Garfield, he would be better bribed with a croissant or possibly a quiche rather than bow to the Italian palate we Americans relish. Or maybe he’d prefer one of those yummy crepes you can purchase along the streets of Paris.

Regardless, I’m pretty sure Garfield wouldn’t care a crumb about this kind of litter, which has been showing up for three decades in France. He’d likely roll over and continue his nap with complete indifference to the people pouring over the sandy, rocky French coast cleaning up the Garfield mess.

If I were strolling along Daytona Beach, I should think I’d be rather shocked to dig at a little piece of orange plastic protruding from the sand and come face to face with Garfield. But to my knowledge no shipping crate full of the phones was ever lost on our shores like crashed onto the rocky coast of France. Yes, the mystery is solved. It only took thirty years.

I was amused at the serious comment made by Fabien Boileau, the Director of Ironise Marine Nature Park – “We will go there to recover the remains of the phones.”

Perhaps this is a matter of being lost in translation, but it sounds like a funeral will ensue after all remains are accounted for. I think it’s more likely that eBay will blow up with the famous feline-face phone. Again, if Garfield were to comment, I think it would be with nothing more than a yawn. As for me, I’m heading to the kitchen for a piece of lasagna.

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You’ll be hearing from me a lot in April as I’m participating in the Ultimate Blog Challenge – a challenge to post every day for the 30 days of April. I’ll tell you more about that tomorrow. Thanks for stopping by.

Don’t Give Me That Look

I am a responsible adult. That means that I get the oil changed in my car regularly. Though regularly may be up for interpretation, I shoot for every 5,000 miles. My car turned over 50,000 miles and even with my mathematical limitations, I knew it was time.

As I type this, I’m taken back to the time, lo those many years ago, when I first drove by myself to get my oil changed at a quick-service center. Driving over a large hole with a person waiting in said hole was a little nerve-wracking. The guy waving me in like I was driving a 747 seemed unaffected by the potential disaster that my car careening into that hole would cause. To his credit, his confidence in me was not misplaced.  I tried to act nonchalant, but it was a proud moment. Just another day.

But this time when I pulled up I encountered someone who had hand signals of his own making. First he did the come straight ahead signal with both hands extended and fingers moving toward his palms. Then he waved me a little to the right. Then briefly back to the first signal. Then he did this thing that was like he was imitating a butterfly with his hands fluttering towards each other and then away. I, of course, stopped. I figured he must be messing with the guy down in the pit or chasing a mosquito. He then yelled for me to pull forward.

When he reached my window, I told him I wasn’t quite sure what he wanted me to do. To that he replied, “First time, huh.”

Because he was going to be fooling around under my car’s hood, I decided to let that one go. I turned off my engine and pulled out my phone. That was a mistake. He said he needed my mileage. I looked at my dark dashboard. I wondered if I turned my car on if I would rip the hands off of the guy under my car.

You know how you can turn your key to the left for battery power? Of course you do. You’re no idiot. The problem for me is that I have a push-button ignition and in the 4.5 years that I’ve owned this car I’ve turned on battery power maybe once. And that was by accident.

So then I had to look at this joker and tell him I didn’t know how to find that information for him without starting my car. He gave me a look like this was my second strike. I was beginning to feel self-conscious so I blurted out, “This really is my car.”

He then very nicely told me what to do. I gave him the exact mileage and he walked away while I tried to figure out how to turn off the battery power without, once again, starting my car and then abruptly turning it off, all the while wondering if I could really hurt somebody (and I’m not talking about the guy who waved me in). I decided that it didn’t matter if it was on. If my battery went dead, somebody there would give me a jump.

The story has a happy ending. Nobody was hurt during my routine oil change. I didn’t fall in the hole. My battery didn’t fail me. I didn’t smack the young man who asked me for my mileage. Plus, when I got home I checked in with my engineer to see if my anxiety about turning my car on was justified. He said I could have hurt somebody if his hand was in the wrong place and I turned on the car. I think he was pretty proud of me for not causing any injuries that day. So proud that he said next time he’d be happy to get my oil changed for me.

 

Bazaar Beach Bumble Leads to Sting Operation

Friday was my mother’s 91st birthday. My younger sister, Linda, and I took her to her favorite place – the beach.

Through no fault of her own, Mom’s birthday falls during spring break and bike week. If you live in Florida, you avoid the beach like the Walmart on Black Friday, especially Daytona Beach, during this overlap of motorcycles, college students, and vacationing families. It’s just plain crazy, loud, and crowded.

For my mother’s part, she did not plan on being born in March. In fact, she was due in May. (I do think she may have preferred May. It’s quieter down here then.)

In keeping with the quiet celebration theme, we headed down back roads past the southern tip of New Smyrna Beach. Pastureland with signs pointing to pigs or fresh eggs for sale dotted the scenery. The roads were nearly deserted making for a relaxing drive.

My favorite sighting of the day was Phil. Phil the Knife Sharpening Guy was positioned at a prime intersection to attract bikers, spring-breakers, or anyone else who may need to sharpen their weapons and knives before arriving at the beach. It was a little disconcerting, but I’m going with the thought that fishermen need sharp knives.

Phil's Knife Sharpening

I should note that Phil did not pose for this picture and I did not ask his permission. He was on a corner of Hwy 44 and I was able to snap this from the opposite side of the road at a traffic light. I did google him though, and was surprised at his celebrity. Therefore, I don’t think he’d mind the publicity. He is known all over Florida and beyond for peddling his bike and trailer and sharpening knives of all kinds. He especially likes Bike Week.

With my writer’s mind at ease from picturing all kinds of daunting circumstances, I marvel at Phil’s ingenuity and work ethic, not to mention his ability to pull that rig of his, which he has been doing for about 30 years. I should have stopped and talked to him, but honestly he looked a little scary from a distance, plus I left all my knives at home.

But let me take you back to the beach – Bethune Beach, which is just south of NSB. It has a paved walking area which gives a great view of the sand and surf – just what Mom was hoping for. We took a stroll and then set up our chairs. It was a perfect day – mid-80s, sunny and a light breeze.

Mom encouraged Linda and me to go for a walk on the beach. You don’t say no to your mom on her birthday. Toes in the sand and the sun on a heavily sun-screened face is revitalizing. We were strolling along, enjoying being together and picking up the occasional seashell when it happened. A piercing, burning sensation in my foot. It was like one of Phil’s perfectly sharpened knives stuck me right in my toe.

We weren’t even in the water! I lifted my foot and there underneath it was a bee. A stupid honeybee. (No offense to the smart ones.) What in the world was he doing all alone on the sand? The entire thing was upsetting. It doesn’t even make for a good story. It could at least have been a sand shark (I assume they are named for lying low in the sand before pouncing). Even a jelly fish would have been more exciting.

I hobbled over to nearby stairs and examined my poor throbbing little toe. There was a stinger hanging out of it with bee innards dangling from that. Gross and ouch! Thankfully, I always have my tweezer-like fingernails on-hand (literally) so it was easily removed and the gross part scraped off with a seashell. We headed back to Mom walking in the 65-degree ocean water to dull the pain. It had been a while since I’d had a bee sting. I hurt quite a lot.

My sister told me that if I put wet tobacco on it that would dull the pain. She has never smoked, but she lives in Georgia and once when she had a bee sting someone had dosed her sting site with it and lo and behold it worked. So, we started looking for smokers – kind and generous ones who would help a fellow human in need.

Alas there were no smokers to be found, but Linda did come up with a discarded, half-smoked cigarette. Yes, it’s gross, but it was also an act of love to pick it up. We rinsed my foot and applied the damp tobacco. Funny, but damp tobacco or just about anything else short of chewed gum will not stick to the bottom of your foot. Gravity wins every time so I may never know the true medicinal properties of someone’s discarded cigarette.

When we got home from the beach, I decided to play Bob’s favorite game with him – the guess what game. I know that no matter how much he rolls his eyes, he loves it. So, I made him guess what stung me at the beach. He guessed bee right away. And he didn’t think this counted as an operation either. Not even applying old, wet tobacco can take away the sting of that.

 

 

From Treasure to Trash to Treasure

After our smelly yet productive garage sale last week (read about that here), I was very proud of myself for loading all the leftover treasures into the back of my car for Goodwill and the used book store. We also filled our garbage cans with the enormously heavy metal boxes and things too piddly to give away. I only brought two things back into the house – small glass candle holders. Success!

It felt good to lighten our load and pare down. I barely even thought about the acrylic Tupperware dishes in the back of my car. Dishes which I loved but never used. Dishes that just might have a purpose which I hadn’t thought of yet. Unbreakable yet pretty dishes that my grandkids could use by the pool…

No! Be strong, Bonnie!

Anyway, the day after I posted my blog, I received a text from my daughter-in-law, Julie. I think she and Dad had a kindred spirit regarding how you never know when you’ll need something or could re-purpose it. You know where I’m going here.

Yes, that’s proof that Julie reads my blog. That makes three for three in the daughter-in-law department. I have the best daughters-in-law!

Also, by now you’ve likely guessed that she had a request – “Any chance your trashcan still holds the musty film reels? I have some ideas on how to re-purpose them (as long as they can be aired out).”

Snatched from the jaws of the garbage crusher.

I have a rapport with the trash collectors and want to keep them happy, so Bob and I divided up the heavy metal boxes between different garbage cans and only put two of them to the curb for the first pick-up day. I didn’t want anybody throwing their back out. So that meant that there was still one smelly box in our garbage.

I’m sure my dad was smiling down at me as I dug through the can to retrieve it for Julie. You win again, Dad! One more thing that didn’t quite make it to the curb!

 

One Man’s Treasure is Enough to Knock Me Over

The year was 1953 and my dad didn’t go to Alaska.

As you may remember, in September 2017, we quickly moved my mom and dad into our home. The decision was made on a Monday and the move took place on Friday, just two days before Hurricane Irma hit.

In our haste, we couldn’t go through everything. There wasn’t time or energy for that. My dad micromanaged the move, so that meant lots of stuff that we wanted to throw away was kept, including every slide, movie and photograph he ever took. These couldn’t be left in their home because of the threat of Irma. We’d have to go through them later.

Later came this past weekend. We joined in with the neighborhood garage sale in order to get rid of a large glass patio table and chairs. It was the perfect time. They do the advertising and we put our stuff out. I figured I might as well go through the rest of the house to clear out some things that have gone unused since we moved 3.5 years ago.

That didn’t take long and it felt good to lighten the load, but then Mom asked if I wanted to go through her closet.

Dun, dun, dun!!!

My parents have two very different philosophies of stuff. Mom is a pitcher and Dad is a keeper. Many a time he would go to the curb to retrieve something that Mom deemed useless. Mom is always ready to thin out the stuff. She’s a great example for me, but going through all that stuff…

I hadn’t really looked in there since Dad died and we sold their home. There were pictures and slides and movies. Oh my! I gathered my courage and went in. On the floor were three metal boxes. I don’t even remember seeing them before! I tried to lift one and nearly threw my back out. I scooted it and peered inside, and oh boy did it smell bad. This was a job for Bob.

Bob is great in so many ways, not the least of them being his sense of smell is not as keen as mine. But he did notice a musky odor, so he knew my super-sniffer must have been going nuts.

There were three of these things. This is the small one – it held nine movie reels. I thoughtlessly threw away the other two before taking pictures. They each held a dozen reels and probably would have been of value to a collector with a poor sense of smell.

The first label I came across said Alaska 1953. As I looked over the collection, I was surprised that Dad had not forced us kids, I mean offered for us to watch these. He was infamous for showing us stuff we didn’t want to see whenever it was time for home-movie night. Home-movie night was not limited to movies. In those days, slides were all the rage. We wanted to see pictures of ourselves when we were little and cute, and he wanted to see Hawaii, something I came to appreciate in my adult life.

Dad had hundreds of carousels of slides, but those from business trips to Hawaii were always on the top of the stack. Landscape after landscape after landscape – mostly in living black and white.

But I digress. I asked my mom, “Did Dad go to Alaska in 1953?”

“Oh, no,” she replied. “All of those movies belonged to your great Uncle Hayward. I don’t think we ever looked at them.”

Uncle Hayward died in 1978 at the age of 79, which leads me to believe those movies traveled from Arizona where they lived, to Maryland and then probably to Florida where they have been stored in their fancy, smelly humidors for over forty years. That’s right – the cans which I pitched were labeled as humidors. I don’t think they were meant to hold up for over six decades though – at least that’s what I gathered from the smell of deteriorating film and musty metal, which was akin to the smell of aged Tupperware with leftover cabbage in it.

All in all, it was a successful weekend. We sold our table so we didn’t have to figure out how to haul it away. We got rid of a lot of things from Mom’s closet and found a few gems, too. Like this pair of movie projectors, which you see Bob examining here. One is for the movies which we threw away. I think someone could make a lamp out of it and it probably has some value, which will be determined.

Notice the projector in the foreground. You do find some interesting things among your parents’ possessions.

Plus, best of all. I threw out all the slides of Hawaii and found some cute ones of me and my siblings. If I can ever figure how to digitize them, I’ll be sure to share them!

 

 

Culture Shock!

I was a stranger in a strange land. Gone were the familiar greens and blues. Everything was white. And cold. Very cold!

I knew that it had been a harsh winter in Michigan. I heard about the polar vortex and kept current on conditions because our son and his family live there. But I was not prepared to be dropped into a setting of white.

As we began our descent into Grand Rapids, this was my view.

Close up was a lot more intimidating. Driving with snow drifts higher than your car is stranger than driving after Hurricane Irma left piles of debris along our Florida streets. Our Irma debris held on for over two months. I think the Michigan snow drifts might beat that.

It was embarrassing finding myself commenting on the snow. As a Floridian, I’m used to people talking about the weather. Our summers are long and hot. The heat can be oppressive and unrelenting. And the rain – the rain can sneak up on you and be delivered not only downward but sideways in sheets that take all visibility away. But just as suddenly as it began, it can be gone.

Snow is not like that. Snow stays and gets pushed around by convoys of plows. It gets piled high as an elephant’s eye. It gets dirty and then covered by fresh snow. The plows come day after day. The piles grow. Ice storms mess with your footing. You have to borrow boots from your daughter-in-law (thanks, Dacia!). You have the feeling that you don’t belong here. It’s otherworldly.

So, comment I did. I couldn’t stop talking about how white everything was. My sweet daughter-in-law seemed amused by my snow befuddlement. I did grow up in Maryland. We had snow there. But not like this! I stared out the window in amazement. I couldn’t get over it. Finally, I realized I needed someone to help me with my culture shock, so I called in an expert – my four-year-old grandson. Felix loves snow. He was a little baffled by my lack of experience with it, so he offered his point of view.

 

I figure if it’s a little too much snow for a four-year-old, it’s okay that it’s a lot too much for me.

The Dirt on my Amaryllis 

Sometimes putting up with the stink yields a reward. 

Before Christmas I bought a three-pack of Amaryllis (from Costco, of course). It was another great find as they were marked down to $4.97. When something at Costco has a “7” for the last number of the price, it’s being discontinued and it’s generally super cheap. 

These plants were not in bloom yet. Part of the fun of them is watching how fast they grow and produce beautiful flowers. I put them on my kitchen counter. Within an hour, my kitchen reeked. I was planning to give these away, but there was no way I’d give a stinking dish of dirt to anyone. After an initial watering, I put them outside on my screened porch table and forgot about them. 

In a couple weeks, they rewarded me with vibrant blooms. I couldn’t believe how lovely they were. Once the flowers were spent, I forgot about them. I kept meaning to throw them away, and then around the first of February, we noticed new growth. I didn’t know they did that. I chose to water them once more and see what would happen. Soon, they looked like this.  I took these pictures on February 15. 

It made me wonder how many other things I had not given their due opportunity to bloom. Things from plants to ideas to relationships. Sometimes things start out pretty smelly. But when given the chance they bloom into something beautiful. 

The Hamilton Hype

A few years ago, way back in 2015, I began to hear about a new, hit, Broadway musical called Hamilton. I am familiar with Alexander Hamilton as I have seen ten-dollar bills, plus I remember from American history that he was a part of the founding of our country. There was something about a duel with Aaron Burr, and also, he was the first Secretary of the Treasury. So, you can see, I’m somewhat of an expert.

Since I am on Facebook, I was privy to several friends’ posts which revealed that they were desperate to see this musical. Some even flew clear across country just to see the show. I marvel at that kind of commitment.

I like Broadway shows. I like musicals. I thought to myself, maybe someday Bob and I will see this show.

We have a daughter, Dena, who loves, loves, loves this musical – even though she had not seen, seen, seen it. When I visited her last year, she exposed me to the music. I was not surprised to learn that she and her daughters were fluent in Hamilton. They knew all the words. I mean really knew them. Dena could stand in for any of the actors. (If any of you are reading this, contact me to contact her. You won’t be sorry.)

What did surprise me was that Hamilton is largely a rap. Of course, we have no recordings from that many score years ago, but I am reasonably certain that a group of men who wrote the letter “S” to look like an “F” did not use rap for anything but their Virginia tobacco, and that one starts with a W.

Still, even though I am not a fan of that musical medium, I enjoyed the quick banter and musical story enough to overlook it. Dare I say, I even enjoyed listening to the sound track. Okay, I will. I enjoyed it.

This brings us to December when the Dr. Phillips Center in Orlando began selling tickets for Hamilton. Bob and I decided to try to get them for each other for a Christmas present. When I say try, I mean that. It took hours waiting in a cyber line for Bob to procure the tickets. Five hours. Each person was allowed to purchase four, so we gave the other two to Dena and her husband for Christmas.

Meanwhile, Bob thought he, too, should listen to the soundtrack so he could begin to familiarize himself with it. Oh, I wish you could have seen the expression on his face when he looked at me and said, “Wait a minute. This is a rap? Is the whole thing a rap?”

The man who waited patiently to buy those tickets was unaware that this would subject him to hours of rap music, albeit historical rap music.

So, the four of us we went to see the show. It was excellent, as rap musicals go. We quite enjoyed it, and somehow Dena restrained herself from singing along – quite the self-control!

The next day, Dena’s friend, Praise, called to talk to her and I managed to grab the phone unbeknownst to Dena. Praise has been like another daughter to me, so I enjoyed a few minutes of impersonating Dena before I let on to her that it was me. Then she asked me how Hamilton was.

I told her we liked it fine and that Bob was surprised to discover it was a rap. She couldn’t believe that he didn’t know that prior to buying tickets. She was somewhat appalled and lovingly told me that we didn’t even deserve to go to the show.

That is the passion that this musical brings out of people. Plus, Praise had to get back at me for impersonating Dena. I guess we’re even, but not truly even. We got to see the show.

 

Conversation Crisis PLUS We Have a Winner

Tuesday night was the State of the Union Address, and I was surprised it got the coverage it did with the big crisis going on in our nation. I’m sure you have been following the candy-heart crisis.

Evidently, the New England Confectionary Company (NECCO) abruptly stopped manufacturing its popular, not to mention iconic, Sweet Heart Conversation Hearts. I was shocked when I saw this covered on our local news. The shocking part was not that NECCO had stopped manufacturing candy. No, no. The shocking part was that this was called a crisis. The state of Valentine’s Day was coming into question. That’s what this world has come to. Seriously, folks, it’s not like M&Ms were going away.

Anyway, to confuse things further, just last week I picked up Brach’s Tiny Conversation Hearts at Target – crisis averted! NECCO did not have the conversation heart market cornered, though it looks like big conversations are now a thing of the past. If you are clever, you can string many tiny conversations together and make one normal size conversation. So, don’t despair, just join in a candy conversation of whatever size you can. Your Valentine’s Day should not be hindered in the least.

 

Now, on to more pressing things. Thanks to all of you who commented on my blog post last week and to those who shared. The winner of my book, ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE MAGIC, is Vanessa Marks. I will be in contact with you to get the particulars to send it to you.