All posts in category Family

Europe Part 4 – Color and Light

Spain was a delightful surprise to us. We chose to go there because we were going to Paris to visit our son and daughter-in-law, and we wanted to tag on a visit to another area – you know, as long as we were in the neighborhood. We narrowed our choice down to Southern Spain and Tuscany, because both areas were available via our time-share. We chose Spain because chances were the weather would be warmer. Also, I was afraid if we went to Tuscany in late November I would never get Bob to go back there when we could roam the countryside without lugging heavy coats around. He would want to try some place different and new. I couldn’t risk it.

Barcelona was the icing on our Spanish cake. It reminds me of New York City except when I’ve visited New York City I was always ready to get out of the city, but in Barcelona I wanted to stay longer. It is a very artsy city with a strong influence by Antoni Gaudi. Gaudi was the architect/artist who designed The Sagrada Familia, the unfinished basilica that looms large over the city. He wanted a cathedral that would draw people to worship. The story of Jesus is depicted all over the outside of it.

The front doors have the gospel carved into them.

Once inside his influence from nature takes over. He was fascinated by light and his use of stained glass combined with columns that look like trees transforms the interior to a symphony of color.

I will admit that the inside of the cathedral emphasized Gaudi so much that I think it may have distressed the man, who died when he was run over by a tram in 1926 just before his 74th birthday. (To this day, the cathedral is unfinished; construction is on-going.) The outside, though, dramatically moved me to worship. Jesus was glorified.

Park Guell is another of Gaudi’s creations. The serpentine benches alone were worth seeing, but the entire park is a wonderland.

Now I have to stop myself from posting more pictures. I haven’t even included Gaudi’s houses around Barcelona, but I guess there’s always facebook for more.

2 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on November 26, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Faith, Family, Travel

Tagged Antoni Gaudi, Barcelona, Gaudi's unfinished basilica, Park Guell, Sagrada Familia, traveling in Spain

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on November 26, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/11/26/europe-part-4-color-and-light/

Europe Part 3 – On to Africa

Yesterday we went to Africa. What a strange sentence to write! Bob deserved a break from chauffeuring us all over Southern Spain so we joined a tour group that picked us up at our resort and drove about an hour and a half to catch the fast ferry to Morocco. On arriving we were shepherded into a bus and driven around the coast. We saw the Cave of Hercules with all its lovely views. Unfortunately, the beauty of it was marred by merchants within its walls.

The coast offered a view of the spot where the Mediterranean Sea and the Atlantic Ocean meet. Tradition says that during certain seasons you can see the demarkation of Sea to Ocean. It all looked the same to me.

From there we headed to the pony rides of Africa – dromedaries. We figured we had monkeys jump on us in Gibraltar, so riding a camel was not a big leap.

After we dismounted the camels the tour went downhill. They took us to a lunch in Tangier. We had been alerted to the danger of pick-pockets in the crowded streets. There are a lot of ways they try to get you. I was listening to our guide when all of a sudden I felt someone bump into me and slip their hand into my pocket. Always on the ready, I squeezed the intruding hand with all of my might and almost crushed the hand of the poor older woman, who was part of our tour, who had slipped and was using me to steady her – or at least that’s what she claimed. It was a little awkward!

Our lunch was good but the “surprise” of belly dancing was cheesy. And then it got worse. We were herded to a carpet store where we had the opportunity to purchase expensive carpets, none of which could you fly around on. After making it out of the carpet arena we were deposited in a “pharmacy” where we could purchase herbs and local concoctions for everything from backaches to laziness.

We made it through those two things without being tempted to make a purchase and then we headed down the streets of Morocco where we were approached by very persistent local merchants who had local jewelry, belt, mirrors, magnets and the like. It was fun and interesting to negotiate with these folks and it gave us a view of a different way of life.

We felt like we were on the movie set of an Indian Jones movie. Even our guide looked like he stepped off the silver screen.

I started looking for the movie director who may have been yelling, “Release the street merchants. Now release the small child clutching a single coin in his hand. Bring in the rain clouds to give reason for our guide holding an umbrella.”

We can now say we’ve been to Africa.

On a related note. I collect magnets of all the states we have traveled to. They are displayed on our refrigerator at home. Once we had a layover in Illinois and I insisted on buying a magnet. Bob said I hadn’t really been on Illinois soil. I said it counts. Our trip to Africa was like that. It counts. Yes, I enjoyed it; but there was so much more to see that our tour did not allow. I’m glad we did it and glad Bob had a relief from driving, but I might just have to return one day.

2 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on November 22, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Family, Travel

Tagged camel riding, guided tours of Tangier, Morocco, Tangier

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on November 22, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/11/22/europe-part-3-on-to-africa/

Europe Part 2 – Monkey Business

I woke up this morning with one question on my mind – How does one dress for monkeys? I don’t mean how should I dress to impress a monkey, but how should I dress in case a monkey jumps on me? This can only mean it was our day to travel to Gibraltar.

Gibraltar is part of the British Empire, complete with bobbies and double-decker buses. The currency is the pound, but for a fee most merchants are happy to take euros. Before planning this trip I didn’t know Gibraltar was its own nation. I confess I had only heard of the Rock of Gibraltar. In my mind it looked like Alcatraz, i.e., The Rock. This was quite a diffferent experience.

To get there, we headed west down Spain’s version of A1A for about 1.5 hours. Mountains were to our right and the Med Sea to our left. It’s quite breathtaking. At long last, there it was looming large in the distance. The Rock of Gibraltar is quite a presence.

Thanks to Rick Steves’ guidebook, we were prepared to park in Spain and walk across the border. This saved a lot of headaches. To walk across the border you cross a live air strip of the Gibraltar Airport. No planes were coming or going at the time, so that made it a little less exciting. Still it was a strange experience.

We traveled through the main square taking in all the Britishness of the place and stopped for a typical British lunch, cottage pie.

As we entered the city, taxi drivers and tour guides taunted us to buy their tour. Ha! We laughed at their taunts that we would regret going it on our own. The gondola took all of six minutes to get us to the top viewing area. How I wish we had bought a ticket for the ride down!

We were excited to see Africa off in the distance. It was beautiful and seemed to beckon us to come. Sometimes the world seems small and close. The views of Spain were also amazing. But, we wanted to see monkeys, the famous Gibraltar apes. So, ennough of the landscapes and seascapes, on to the monkeys.

Our son, Joe, was on a mission. He really wanted a monkey to jump on him. Honestly, we all did, even Aubyron (our daughter-in-law), but she preferred a small one. You shouldl know that a large fine will be imposed for anyone taunting, feeding or approaching the apes. They are serious about this. So you just have to make yourself available, you know, hang around the various monkey haunts until one gets curious. We practiced looking nonchalant.

Bob was the first to have an encounter, but unfortunately I didn’t see it; but it counts. It was starting to get late and we were in need of more monkey business. I prayed that God would have a monkey jump on us (yes, I really did). We approached a few and sent out that “hey, we’re just chillin'” vibe. Joe took the high route and Aubyron and I took the low route. I leaned against the wall and looked over the sea with my most I-don’t-care-if you-jump-on-me-or-not attitude. Honestly, for a minute I wasn’t thinking monkey, and then it happened.

Yes I was groomed by a Barbary macaque (Gibraltar monkey). It was awesome! Not that I want to do this on a regular basis, but how often do you have this opportunity. He was surprisingly light and surprisingly happy to comb through my hair. I had read that if one jumps on you, you should squat down as they like to launch off of people. My monkey was quite content to groom me for about a minute and a half. Cool.

Bob and I were ready to go down. Joe was not. He had not had the full monkey experience and was dedicating himself to retaining it. At this point, we separated. Joe and Aubyron went off to see monkeys and find a way down the rock and Bob and I started walking down. I should mention that it was nearly dusk at this time and it appeared as if we would be the ones to lock up the rock. We had not calculated our return trip and I suppose the annoying taxi drivers were indeed getting the last laugh. We started walking down, down, down. There were no other tourists in sight. We saw parts of Gibraltar that are not on the tour – a child riding his bike, guard dogs barking, a gang of street youths that looked scarier than the apes did.

We were tired and it appeared that we had a long walk down ahead of us. I saw a woman watching her child play and offered to pay her to give us a ride. Bob told her it wasn’t necessary and she declined. I guess she would have anyway. I started hitchhiking every time I would see a car, which was infrequent. Bob had to instruct me on proper thumb placement, but I got the hang of it. The woman had suggessted that someone might pick us up and we might consider limping to look more sympathetic. Limping was no problem. Our entire bodies hurt. We figured we must have walked more than 10 miles up and down hills. We did find ourselves doing well considering, but the more we walked the further it seemed we had to go.

Finally a tour guide with two ladies in his van stopped for my hitchhiking thumb. They graciously gave us a ride down. He is my new best friend.

When we separated from Joe and Aubyron we decided to meet up at the All’s Well Tavern in town. Seemed appropriate. When we arrived, the sun had completely set and all the places of business were closing up. Time to pray again. This time for Joe and Aubyron to get down the rock. Twenty minutes later they arrived.

We decided to head across the border and have dinner in Spain. That would give us an opportunity to rest before the drive back. The border had its own idea. The line to cross the border looked like a bad day at Disney World. We waited 1.5 hours to walk across. The lines for cars were even worse. Periodically they would show their disapproval with a chorus of car horns. Yep, another new experience. Finally we crossed and saw those wonderful Golden Arches. Dinner at McDonalds sounded good to us. Food and a little rest made for a happier drive back to our resort.

As I prepared for bed that night I looked like a monkey had been going through my hair and I was tired. It was a great day.

Today we did nothing as we required rest. Tomorrow we will venture out again.

4 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on November 20, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Family, Travel

Tagged apes of Gibraltar, Gibraltar, Rick Steves, Spain travel

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on November 20, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/11/20/europe-part-2-monkey-business/

Europe Part 1 – Help Me Ronda

Our adventure in Spain has begun! We began on Sunday with a day of rest that included a walk along the Mediterranean Sea, picking up stones and skipping them across the water. It was surreal. I think the walk helped me adjust to the six-hour time difference. The air was clear and crisp and the view amazing.

I had no idea that Spain was so mountainous. We meandered the windy roads to a little town called Ronda. There is a cave near there, Cueva de la Pileta, that was discovered in 1905. The cave was a bit treacherous for me, but I braved it. We single filed down slippery stairs following a guide with a flashlight. The four of us we were allotted two lanterns, which turned out to be fine as walking down the narrow, dark stairs was sufficient challenge for me. I was happy to have Bob carry our lantern. We were not allowed to touch the sides of the cave. I think I unintentionally broke that rule three times while traversing very narrow areas. We found lakes, cave drawings and the remains of what looked like a pottery factory (as you would imagine one thousands of years ago). It was very physical. At one point I felt a bit claustrophobic, even though we were not in a tight space. It is weird knowing that you are underground in a totally dark place. A few deep breathes and I was fine. I did feel a little like an old woman, though, as I took the steps slowly, two feet on each step before taking the next one. None of us fell – success!

The town of Ronda is famous for its new bridge, which was constructed in 1793 after the old bridge collapsed. It spans a gorgeous gorge and is one of the most picturesque places I have ever been.

6 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on November 20, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Family, Travel

Tagged cave hiking, Europe travel, Ronda Spain

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on November 20, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/11/20/europe-part-1-help-me-ronda/

Off We Go

After much planning, shopping, studying and more shopping, today Bob and I head to Europe. We will meet our son, Joe, and his wife, Aubyron in Malaga, Spain, tomorrow at 4 pm Spain time. To get there we will fly from Orlando to Atlanta (I think this is mandatory for any travel anywhere. My dad always said it’s because they have the best baggage crusher.) Then from Atlanta we fly to Madrid. We will have a five-hour layover there and then on to Malaga.

This past week has been active to say the least. My sweet husband has had a cold/cough and has had to go to work every day in spite of that. He also had things to do for his dad so it’s been non-stop (unlike our airplane travel). I knew he was worn out, but I had no idea how tired he was until he called me into his home office and told me he couldnt figure out how to forward an old email to our son. Sure enough, there was no obvious way. And then something amazing happened – I figured it out. Yes, you read that right. I figured it out (it was worth saying twice).

Now, I should mention that he had spent quite a bit of time working out a computer problem for me earlier that night; but that might take away from my moment of techie genius. I will soar on this triumph for weeks. Even now as I think about it I’m smiling and giving myself a mental high-five.

Part of what Bob was doing for me was making sure I have a keyboard for my iPad so I can blog while we are gone. I am typing on said keyboard right now as a trial. Looks like it’s working so I hope to blog along the way on my trip. I’m sure between Spain, Gibraltar and Paris there will be a lot to tell. With any luck I’ll be posting a few times so you can follow me through Europe. As always, I appreciate all of you who take a few moments to read my blog. You are a blessing to me.

9 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on November 15, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Family, Travel

Tagged Paris, Spain, travel

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on November 15, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/11/15/off-we-go/

Focus, Focus, Focus

You may remember that my incentive for reorganizing my house was my son and his wife were temporarily moving to Paris, and we wanted to make room for some of their things. I didn’t mention that we are planning on visiting them there. On November 16 we will meet them in Malaga, Spain, for a week and then on to Paris for another week.

This is causing me to focus on three main things for the next month.

Lose weight. Always a focus before any trip, anniversary, high school reunion, summer, doctor appointment, etc.
Get in shape – exercise. Depending on the trip, this may or may not be a priority for me. For this trip it is as we will be walking a lot. When we stay with Joe and Aubyron (pronounced Aubrin) in Paris, we will have seven flights of stairs to climb to get to their apartment. That also means there are seven flights to descend whenever we go out. I’m hoping that once I walk up, I will have the energy to go back down and actually see Paris.
Brush up on my Spanish. This implies that my Spanish is “bueno.” It is not. I had two years of Spanish in high school. That was more than a few anos (years) ago.

The Stairs to Joe and Aubyron’s Paris Apartment

So here I am, tackling three big things at once, which is a rarity for me; but I am motivated. I am using MyFitnessPal to track my calories and exercise. It’s so easy and the app for my phone means it’s simple to keep track.

I am either walking or doing Zumba on our Wii for my exercise. If you drive by my house in the daytime and see all my blinds closed, you can assume I am doing Zumba or passed out on the couch from just finishing a session.

As far as learning espanol is concerned, I am using Instant Immersion. They tell me that I can have a short conversation with someone at this point in my lessons, but I’m not so sure. I heard two people conversing in Spanish the other day and I don’t think I made out but a couple of words.

I like the program, but some of the words they want me to know seem odd. For example, is cauliflower some kind of big deal in Spain? It must be or why would I have to learn it (coliflor, in case you’re curious). Maybe they have advertisements there like they do here – GOT MILK? – TIENES COLIFLOR? I can’t wait to go to my first restaurant in Spain and flaunt my knowledge. I’m going to be so bi-lingual.

When we get to Paris, we’ll let Joe and Aubyron take over communicating. We will probably be too winded from walking up and down and stairs to talk anyway. Aubyron has started a blog about their adventure. I think you will enjoy it. She is funny and real and takes lots of pictures. If you’re unable to travel to Paris, you can do so vicariously through her. Click here to read it. Enjoy!

8 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on October 22, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Family, Travel

Tagged Malaga, MyFitnessPal, Paris, Spanish Instant Immersion, Zumba

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on October 22, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/10/22/focus-focus-focus/

Fading Photographs

In case you’ve wondered what I’ve been up to (instead of keeping up with my blog), here’s a partial answer. I have been inspired (once again) to reorganize my house. My inspiration this time came in the form of my son and his wife moving temporarily to Paris. He has been awarded a fellowship to study there for the next four months. They have pared down their belongings, which have been split between a 5 x 8 storage facility and our guest room. I happily cleaned out most of the closets in our house to shift things around and make room.

Shaq Attack

Of course, this unearthed many things and prompted me to have a garage sale, something I have repeatedly sworn I would never do again. But I often lie to myself and it will be worth the work if I make a few bucks from things that only take up room behind closed closet doors. For example, I have a Shaq action figure that belonged to one of my sons. I don’t know why I am attached to it, but I am. It might be harder for me to get rid of Shaq than it was for him to leave Orlando. I made myself put a price tag on it, but it didn’t sell. So, I’m stuck with it. The sad part is I’m glad, but I am mildly tormented by having it back in my closet.

And then there are the birth samplers. Nothing highlights the difference between sons and daughters like the dilemma of what to do with their birth samplers. In case you don’t know, a sampler is a piece of embroidery worked in various stitches, typically containing the alphabet or words and mottoes. Bob’s mom stitched birth samplers for all of our kids. These hung proudly in their nursery, depicting all the stats of the child’s birth.

By the time our kids were in middle school, the samplers were stuck in a closet. Now that I’m in clean-out mode again, I find myself in a quandary over them. My daughter was easy. She took hers and it now abides in one of her closets.

It wasn’t so easy with my three sons. I sent an email to them asking if they would like to have their sampler to cherish in their own closet.

Son #1, “That’s the kind of thing moms keep forever.”

Wife of Son #2, “My mom gave me mine. It’s in my closet. I’ll put his with it.”

Son #3, “You can throw mine away.”

Me, “It’s about your birth. Your grandmother made it. I can’t throw it away. I’m having trouble throwing out an action figure of Shaq. Do you really think I could pitch this in the garbage?”

Son #3, “It won’t change anything. We’ll still be here. It’s not like Back to the Future where Marty’s photo of his family faded.”

Me, “I know. It just feels that way.”

So I guess Son #1 is right. It is the kind of thing moms keep forever. Some day my daughter will open my closet, find her brothers’ birth samplers, and throw them away. Thanks, Dena.

6 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on October 14, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Family, Stuff I Go Through

Tagged Back to the Future, cleaning closets, embroidered birth samplers, garage sales, Shaq

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on October 14, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/10/14/fading-photographs/

Stuck in the Middle

If you are a middle child, please stand up. Be careful when you do, though, because your older sister or younger brother is likely waiting to take your seat. They will claim you got up and everyone knows there is no seat saving. Mom will give the seat to the baby of the family to keep peace and the oldest will take the next best one. You might as well sit on the floor. Such is life for the middle child.

This should cheer you up, child in the middle. You have a national holiday, Middle Child Day! It’s unofficial, but you have to take what you get, like your sister’s jeans with the hole in the pocket and green paint on the leg. Or your brother’s jacket with his name embroidered on it. I digress, which is something we middle children tend to do.

The special day was August 12. Sadly, it came and went without any fanfare, but because I am a middle child (number three of four and the middle of three girls), I cannot ignore this day. (I can’t ignore it, but I can manage to be late to blog about it.)

My middle-child experiences include my dad referring to me as his Number Two Daughter, which is appropriate because, like Avis, I try harder. The good thing about being Daughter #2 is I’m better than Daughter #3. (Yes, I realize that his ranking is by birth order. At least that’s what I tell myself as I pour him a drink and rub his feet while repeating how much I love him.)

I’m also a mother of four children; therefore, I have two middle children. My daughter’s status is not as distinctive because she is the only girl. My son, Joe, is like me – number three in line and the middle son. I have determined not to call him my #2 Son, but that’s all the headway I’ve made in keeping him from having Middle Child Syndrome (MCS).

I thought I was being creative (that’s the middle child in me) when I wrote MCS. Wanting to be thorough, I googled it. It’s real! Isn’t that something a middle child would do – make up something that she thought was funny only to find out that somebody else already made it up, probably someone’s older sister?

I’ve looked at middle-child life from both sides now (to quote Joni Mitchell). From being in the middle to observing it. My conclusion – it’s not bad. In fact, it’s quite comfortable.

As a kid I admired my older sister. I wanted to be like her, so getting her hand-me-downs was great. When I wanted to play with dolls and my peers made me feel like I was too old for that, I could play with my little sister. As long as she promised not to tell anyone, I could stay in a child’s world longer and also make Mom happy. I was never lonely.

There are down sides. Middle children have probably shared a room most of their life. Then there’s the baby book – mine is practically empty. But since I’ve been on both sides I declare, “I forgive you, Mom! To make you feel better I have left large portions of my third and fourth children’s baby books empty, too.” (See, I’m still trying to please!)

9 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on August 20, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Current Events, Family, Holidays

Tagged baby books, Both Sides Now, Joni Mitchell, middle child day, middle child syndrome

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on August 20, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/08/20/stuck-in-the-middle/

Fighting the Dark Side

What do you do when you write a blog that is supposed to be funny, light and encouraging and your life becomes serious, heavy and discouraging? Well, you don’t work on your blog. And when I say “you,” I mean me. It’s been nearly a month since I’ve posted. To get this post done I had to drag myself to my computer and handcuff myself to it, which isn’t a good idea because it’s really hard to type like this. And, during the struggle I think I broke a nail, which means I had to go out and have a complete manicure, which of course pushed my work time back once again.

Let me begin, my husband Bob I spent our summer with trips to the emergency room, hospital visits, doctor appointments and securing a nursing facility for his dad’s rehab. It all began on June 8 when his ALF (assisted living facility) sent him to the ER. The next five weeks it was touch and go with his dad in a delusional state and unknown infections plaguing his ninety-year-old body. The fact that he is legally blind complicated things. We constantly had to reassure him that he was safe and in the hospital.

I’ll spare you the details, but currently he is recovering and regaining strength in preparation for returning to his ALF. Meanwhile, Bob and I have been carrying a heavy load and it has taken its toll on my sense of humor. I have gone over to the dark side. After much consideration, I vetoed changing the name of my blog to “Life on the Darker Side.” I was afraid to open that can of worms. I was afraid of the comments. I was afraid I’d constantly be quoting Star Wars.

Now that life is quieting down, I have enough perspective to share some things from these past two months with you.

It has been reinforced in my mind, my husband’s mind, and everyone I’ve come into contact with at the hospital that my plan to not pursue nursing was a good one. My gag reflex is alive and well and has to be suppressed while discussing medical procedures, smells or bodily functions. We all agreed that I should leave the room if his body were to start producing errant functions as one person to clean up after is sufficient.

I can get hospital support faster by screaming at the top of my lungs than by pushing the “call” button, which I had to do in the early days when Dad had physical strength to get out of bed but not strength enough to stand up.

Hospitals, even Christian-owned ones, have some hang-ups. For instance, there is no 13^th floor where my father-in-law was being cared for. I’m not sure if this is for the peace of mind of the patients or the staff. Either way it was challenging to explain to my grandchildren.

We started this journey at a hospital that we didn’t like. Their procedure for patient care involved drugging the patient. I spent days there as Dad’s advocate and protector. Though amusing to think about now, it was disturbing when I witnessed a nurse come in and say, “Good morning, Mr. Anderson. How are you today?” No response. Then she waved three fingers in front of him and asked, “How many fingers do you see?” I looked at her and said, “He’s blind. He can’t see any.” We discharged him against doctor’s orders and transferred him to the superstitious hospital, thinking our luck would be better there.

On a serious note, we met some amazing doctors, nurses and support staff. We are grateful for their care and concern for Dad and us. It was wonderful to see Dad regaining his mental footing after such a rough road. When he became lucid again, he asked for a Bible to be read to him. It was gratifying to read the Word of God to him and see him respond in a way I hadn’t witnessed before. We had talks about Jesus and prayed together. This is what pulled me out of the dark side – Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. How blessed I am to have shared that news with my father-in-law.

8 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on August 14, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Faith, Family, Stuff I Go Through

Tagged ALF, hospital stays, Jesus is the way the truth the life, reading the Bible, Star Wars, the dark side

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on August 14, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/08/14/fighting-the-dark-side/

Trouble on the Verizon

Caper Planning

Since I am a Verizon customer, the news that my phone records may have been surveilled has led me to change the way I converse on my phone. (Yes, I know that’s a bit like shutting the barn door after the cow has escaped.) I love Verizon’s product. I never have dropped calls, and their coverage area is great. I suppose it was those very reasons that led to this “alleged” government surveillance.

If I were a bad guy, I would need a reliable system to plan my capers. But what about us non-bad guys? What about those of us who use our phone to convey information to other non-threatening types? Aren’t we likely to be misunderstood? The answer is, yes. I am routinely misunderstood by those who know me best, so what happens if the government tries to listen in and figure out what in the world I am talking about when my husband and I are on the phone?

The obvious answer is: Bob could use any help they can give him. Beyond that, though, I have drafted a plan to confuse anyone listening to me. I have a code that I now use when speaking with Bob on my cell phone. Unfortunately, I could not text it to him as then it could fall into the wrong hands. I thought it may be helpful for you in your efforts to fly beneath the radar.

When I ask “Are you coming home from work on time,” I really mean, “Why is the government involved in baseball’s doping problem?”

When I say, “We need to go out on a date tonight,” I really mean, “I’m afraid the IRS is going to audit us.”

When I say, “It’s raining here,” I really mean, “I can’t believe our taxes are so stinking high.”

Yesterday when I was on the phone with Bob, I suddenly said, “Hi President Obama!” That I’m sure caused a lot of confusion. At least it did for Bob.

Think about this, if Gill Bates (catch that? It’s simple but effective in baffling listeners) had used code in verbal language and not just computer language, maybe the Microsoft anti-trust/monopoly situation could have been averted. On a side note, I trust Microsoft; and with the exception of Windows Vista, they have provided me with a lot of great computer stuff (hope I’m not too technical here). On the other hand, I am pretty much over the game of Monopoly. It takes too long to play and unless I monopolize the red properties and own all four railroads, I generally lose.

I’ll close here with things I regularly say to Bob that could be misconstrued by somebody who is tapping my phone:

The package has arrived.
Please stop and get money from the bank today.
The garbage men are picking up the trash.
There’s a snake in our grass.
I’m doing the laundry.
I’m going to a tea party.
There is a new bird on my feeder.
Bring home some tacos.
The mailman is late again.
I need to pick up my sister from the airport.

I’m sure I’m not being overly paranoid, but just in case, please delete this blog post after you read, comment on it and share it with your friends. Thank you.

9 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on June 7, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Current Events, Family

Tagged baseball's doping problem, capers, government surveillance, IRS audit, Microsoft, Monopoly, tea party, Verizon

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on June 7, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/06/07/trouble-on-the-verizon/