I Can Barely Contain Myself

photo (130)We have a new Container Store here in Orlando.  I had heard of this chain, but never thought it would be a big deal to have a store solely dedicated to containers.  Who thinks up this stuff anyway?  Can you picture a boardroom table surrounded by people brainstorming when somebody shouts out, “I know, let’s make an enormous store where we sell boxes and bags and all sorts of things to hold other things.”  I mean, don’t we all have shoe boxes and grocery bags?  And that doesn’t count that drawer in the kitchen that catches all the miscellaneous stuff of life.

I’ll admit I was skeptical.  I didn’t want to spend more money on a container than its contents, but I had to check it out.  Truthfully, my reason for checking it out was that Starbucks was having Frappie Hour and I wanted a half-price drink.  The problem was I had a half hour to kill, so in I entered the Container Store to kill it (the half hour, not the store).

photo (127)The first thing that caught my eye was an end cap filled with paper bags.  These sold for $12.99 and up, depending on size.  They are marketed as Paper Bins. “Fascinating,” I said in my most Mr. Spock-like voice.  “I think I have the prototype for these in my pantry.”  I envisioned myself explaining to Bob (my husband) that I was organizing our bathroom closet with Paper Bins.  He would likely tell me I had been sold a load of something and that we could put that something in that paper bin, light it with a match, and leave it at the front door of The Container Store.  I couldn’t chance that, so I passed on the bags.

It didn’t take long before I was sucked into the concept of specialty containers.  It must have been my old roots as a Tupperware Lady, but I suddenly found myself needing containers.  I’m not sure what I would contain in them, but I knew I wanted them.  I picked them up, removed and replaced their lids, and burped them like a Tupperware baby.  I was in trouble.  I should never have gone in alone, but I just wanted to take a peek, a quick look until I could get my half-price frappuccino.

photo (128)There was a huge display of travel containers.  I like to travel.  I’m planning on traveling – I must buy something!  A large wall of odds and ends drew me in.  Unique little “purses” hung on display.  They were black and reminiscent of the fifties, and they came in two sizes – A/B and C/D.  Yep – bra holders at $17.99 a piece (or $9 a cup).  I didn’t purchase this item.  The only cup I was interested in was one with coffee in it, and that would only cost me $2.25.

I did find something I couldn’t resist – an anti-theft travel handbag.  This would best be described as a soft-sided safe on a cross-body strap (okay, it’s a purse).  It is purported to outsmart bag snatchers, slashers, pickpockets and identity thieves.  If I can figure out how to open it I think it will come in handy when I travel.

The bottom line, my half-price frappuccino ended up costing me $102.25.  That’s $2.25 for the coffee and $100 for two purses (I mean anti-theft travel handbags).  But, as a bonus for spending $100, I received a coupon for $15 off any item that I purchased in June.  Unfortunately I forgot I had this coupon until today.

All I can say is, drinking coffee is an expensive habit.  Not to mention that the above cost doesn’t include a trip abroad for me to try out my new anti-theft travel handbag.  Maybe it’s a good thing I forgot about the coupon – it could only get me in more trouble!

Cruising has its Challenges

Nassau was hot, hot, hot

Last week Bob and I celebrated our 37th anniversary.  He surprised me with a weekend cruise to the Bahamas.  We had a wonderful time together, just the two of us (if you don’t include the other 2,598 people).

Having been on a few cruises, we are now part of the Platinum Class.  I know that sounds impressive, but let me assure you, we put on our swim suits one leg at a time like the rest of you.  Just as I was getting all puffed up about my privileged status, I discovered that Platinum Class is the bottom rung of an elaborate cruising class system.  We have a long, long way to go to get to the top, but we can get there by taking more and more cruises.  It’s vicious; i.e., expensive.  Here’s the progression:  Above us lowly Platinum people are many classes – Silver, Gold, Diamond, Rock, Paper, Scissors.  Gold is better than silver.  Diamond is better still.  Rock crushes Scissors.  Paper covers Rock.  Scissors cuts Paper.  It’s all very complicated.

Getting back to our weekend, we arrived at the port and I went through security without any problems.  Bob, however, had his hat frisked.  I’m guessing something about it threw up a flag that implied he was a risky cruiser.  After being patted down, it was reunited with Bob and allowed through.

We boarded the lovely Monarch of the Seas, looking forward to our adventure.  We didn’t care what type of room we had since this was a short trip.  Even with that in mind, when we opened the door to our cabin, we discovered the smallest room I had ever seen.  We called it our statecloset.  I’m not saying it was small, but we had to go out in the hall just to change our mind.  On the positive side, Bob and I were closer than ever.

Before I go on, let me tell you that our ship was completely booked with 2600 passengers.   With that number of people in mind, you’d expect to find a few swimming pools and multiple hot tubs.  There was two of each.  They were open beginning at 4 pm on Friday until midnight that night and then from 9:00 am until midnight on Saturday and Sunday.  But using the hot tubs was tricky.  The maximum number of people in each was ten.  Have you ever tried cycling 2600 people through two hot tubs ten people at a time?  That’s quite a challenge!

Challenge accepted!  I put my math prowess to work to solve the problem.  I figured 20 percent of the people don’t care about going in the hot tub and that leaves 2,080 people in line to use 2 hot tubs with a capacity of 10 people each.  If each round in a hot tub lasts 15 minutes and I’m at the end of the line, at what time do I get a turn?

Yes, these are the things that keep me up at night.  I lie there laughing as I picture hundreds of people circling the ship while waiting in line to finally have a soak.  So here’s the deal, the first person to give me the correct answer to my question as a comment at the end of this post will win a $5 Starbucks gift card.  That’s right – Five Whole Dollars!  You already know that I don’t excel at math, so of course I’ll have Bob check the answer for me.  I’ll announce the winner in my next post.  And as a bonus, I promise not to give you any more math problems, no matter how funny I think they are.