All posts in category Stuff I Go Through

Starting Over – It Only Feels Like a Punch in the Gut

Bob and I have been on the fast-track ever since we returned home from our trip to Europe at the end of April. Our feet hit the ground running, or maybe they were shuffling and dragging. Who can remember! All I can tell you is – it’s been non-stop (our lives, not our flight from Europe).

Over the summer we had enough major events in our lives to do our own Lifetime made-for-TV movie. Our youngest son got married. Our middle son, his wife, and their baby, who had been living with us, moved to Michigan. We sold our home of 32 years. The home in which we raised our kids. The home that Bob drew up the initial plans for. The home which we had chosen every detail from floor to ceiling. The home that was in a neighborhood where most of our closest friends live. Okay, enough of that. And, we bought and moved into a new (for us) house. Now, after forty years of marriage, we are official empty-nesters.

This morning as I was trying to get pictures hung on the wall, I wasn’t prepared for how difficult it would be to hang this one. I’m not talking about my usual challenge to do anything handy around the house either.

This is not the home where my story began. Plus, I’m a little old to begin a new story. I guess I should have left this plaque at the old house. It doesn’t seem to belong here.

I remember when I bought it. It was an encouragement. Now it confuses me.

Yet, I cannot sit in the silence of my lovely new home and not write. Soon I will have the last of the pictures hung and the last box unpacked. What will my excuse be then?

So today is a small beginning for me. This is my first written offering from my new home. It was not without challenge. I am writing in a new space with less ready-made distractions – no neighbors that I know and no people living with my husband and me (especially no cute little grandbaby). It’s going to take some getting used to. I can do that. I got used to eating spinach.

For now, I think I’ll post this and go hang my picture.

6 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on October 30, 2015 • Permalink

Posted in Family, Friendship, Stuff I Go Through, Writing

Tagged empty-nesters, Moving, starting over

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on October 30, 2015

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2015/10/30/starting-over-it-only-feels-like-a-punch-in-the-gut/

Road Rage

I don’t remember when I had been so angry or felt so misunderstood. It was a revealing moment that had me name-calling and yelling in frustration.

I was driving down the street and clicked on SYNC, the command center in my car. Usually I’m greeted with a melodic chime prompting me to ask my personal assistant, who hides somewhere in my dashboard, to do something for me. More accurately, I tell her to do something, like get directions or make a phone call.

I never say please or thank you. There’s no need. Of course, there is also no need to be rude with her either. Until today – because she was acting like a real jerk.

My most-used command is “Call Bob.” SYNC and I have been through this hundreds of times. She always answers me, “Calling Bob,” and everything is fine and dandy. I guess she had been feeling taken for granted though, because this day she acted like I was speaking gibberish. I tried again and again. She kept telling me (The audacity! She was telling me what to do) to say a command like Navigation or Phone. I played along for a while until I realized she was playing me for a fool. That’s when I let her have it. I called her a moron and told her she was as useless as a cassette tape deck. She continued to command me with that smirky chime of hers.

SYNC is supposed to be a safety feature enabling me to keep both hands on the wheel, but I was so fixated on getting through her thick dashboard that safety was the last thing on my mind. I had been yelling at her for about two miles when I realized that I was losing this battle.

“You win,” I told her as I dug my phone out of my purse and made the call like I used to way back in 2013.

She smirked again, “Chime.”

I hate her.

You'll be happy to know that SYNC and I are communicating well again. I had to let her know that I am her boss so I reinstalled my phone. There are no hard feelings.

You’ll be happy to know that SYNC and I are communicating well again. I let her know that I am her boss by reinstalling my phone. There are no hard feelings, but I wonder if the “Do Not Disturb” is her subtle way of getting in the last word.

2 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on June 23, 2015 • Permalink

Posted in Stuff I Go Through

Tagged cassette tape deck, hands-free phone in the car, SYNC, voice commands for the car

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on June 23, 2015

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2015/06/23/road-rage/

We’re On the Right Track (Europe Part 8)

Most of the notable challenges during travel have involved trains. Inside of the train terminals there are kiosks, which I assume you need some kind of higher education to operate. Either that or you need to be a teenager. Fortunately for us while we were trying to figure out our train from Salzburg to Munich, we encountered a group traveling together being led by a German teacher from Boston. She had traveled to Germany many times and showed us the cheap tickets that allowed us to get to Munich and then have the rest of the day with free use of their transit system. Unfortunately, she led us to believe that we could take any train. This was not true.

This became crystal clear after we boarded our train. Unlike every movie I have ever seen, there are not porters standing by the doors waiting to check your ticket. You, and I mean we, are supposed to know which train we are getting on and where our seats are on that train. After all, it is clearly written (no it isn’t) on the signage.

We made our way from car to car and found the car with the bar. There we discovered that we were in fact on the wrong train. The bartender and a gentleman traveler interpreted our ticket for us. We had boarded the fast train. Oops. A man who looked a lot like Dumbledore was watching us and speaking to the others in German. It seemed he knew what he was doing and what we should do, but it did not seem like he spoke English.

After much discussion by the three men, they agreed that we should ride the train to the next stop, just five minutes away. The bartender said, “The conductor won’t be coming by anytime soon. Just stay on.”

Then Dumbledore spoke up in perfect English, “That is best. Just get off at the next stop. You will be fine.”

I knew this was the closest I would ever get to hopping a freight (even if that freight did have air conditioning, a bar and cushioned seats). Plus we had the blessing of the bartender and Dumbledore. We stayed on. After all, it was only a five-minute ride.

Three minutes into the trip, guess who came through our car. That’s right, Harry Potter. No, the conductor. My sister, who was facing that direction, had the color drain from her face as she whispered, “Here comes the conductor.”

I assured my co-conspirators that I would not implicate them. As the conductor passed us, the bartender and I exchanged a look. I mimed biting my fingernails. Dumbledore gave me the thumbs up.

We pulled up almost to the station and sat for ten minutes. There was discussion as to whether or not we should make a run for it, but we were cool.

As we disembarked, the train we were supposed to be on pulled up. I looked back at our first train and there was Dumbledore, pointing us in the right direction and giving us a thumbs up. And then he disappeared. Okay, his train pulled away. It was magic.

The Right Train

4 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on April 26, 2015 • Permalink

Posted in Europe, Stuff I Go Through, Travel

Tagged buying train tickets in Austria, buying train tickets in Europe, Dumbledore, Harry Potter, hopping a freight, train travel in Europe, travel, travel fron Austria to Munich, Travel in Europe, traveling in Austria

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on April 26, 2015

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2015/04/26/were-on-the-right-track-europe-part-8/

Languarge Barriers (Europe Part 1)

In preparation for our trip, Bob and I each decided to make efforts to learn to speak German and Italian. He embraced this by using Duo Lingo to learn German. Italian was left up to me.

Instant immersion CDs were my weapon of choice. I used the Spanish version before we went to Spain in 2013. With Spanish I was building on the shaky foundation of my high school Spanish course and found myself communicating with the locals. It was a rudimentary communication, but it was helpful.

Meanwhile, Bob has been embracing his inner German (even though he is of Swedish decent). So dedicated was he to this endeavor that he would not go to bed at night unless he had completed at least one lesson. He progressed very well and before long he reported that he was even dreaming in German.

Things were not going quite as well for me. My plan was to use my car time to learn Italian. This proved to be a two-fold problem. First off, I am usually in my car sporadically. Therefore, I never could quite remember where I left off. And, without having ever studied Italian, I found myself lost (unless you count my lapses into Spanish).

Secondly, the first CD got stuck in my car player. I wasnt sure how far I would get in Italy from that CD as it only covered the alphabet and different countries of the world. At least that is what I think it covered. I really don’t remember.

To sum up, Bob is practically fluent in German. I might get by if I meet an Italian who speaks Spanish. And only if they speak slowly.

But since I have been in Rome, I have found no real problem with my lack of language skills. In Rome a smile goes a long way. The people are kind and patient.

Bob and I are traveling with my sister and her husband. They live in Washington state and we met up with each other in Rome. The four of us have met people from all over the world. On our coliseum tour we witnessed a family run into a group of their friends. It really does seem like a small world sometimes.

We were discussing this while riding the metro to our Vatican tour when a nun spoke up and said, “And who would have thought you’d run into a nun from Chicago.”

We chatted all the way to the Vatican. In fact, she guided us to the exact place where we were to meet our tour. We had an instant, though momentary friendship.

The Sister, My Sister and Me

St. Peter’s

One side of the courtyard hug

Our tour guide of the Vatican pointed out to us that the courtyard in front of St. Peter’s Basilica is shaped in the form of a hug. It begins at St. Peter’s with an arm extended from each side. It doesn’t get much friendlier than that.

8 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on April 10, 2015 • Permalink

Posted in Family, Stuff I Go Through, Travel

Tagged Duo Lingo, Instant Immersion, learning foreign languages, Rick Steves, Rome, travel, traveling in Europe, traveling in Rome, Vatican

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on April 10, 2015

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2015/04/10/languarge-barriers-europe-part-1/

A Thousand Little Celebrations

Through this winter season we have almost constantly had a jigsaw puzzle in progress. We have traditional puzzles for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I like these old favorites because they are family puzzles, meaning they consist of three different sized pieces in the same box. We would line up the children on one side with the big pieces and the parents on the other side with the small pieces. The middle ground was a compromise between the two.

Now that I wear bifocals, my favorite side is the one with the big pieces. In this age of instant gratification I enjoy finding pieces quickly, especially after you work the puzzle for a while. I want my puzzles to be like my life – more fun than work.

During the after-Christmas sales, I found a puzzle with an enticing picture. Macaroons. Yum. Makes me think of Paris….. I guess I was so busy thinking about Paris that I failed to give a second thought to the fact that the puzzle had a thousand pieces. A thousand little pieces. A thousand little pieces that did not have my preferred distinct variations in pattern or color. It also would take more than a day or two to complete, all the while sending subliminal messages activating my sweet tooth and releasing my inner cookie monster.

The frame had been complete for several days and we were at the point where it typically starts to come together a little easier. Only it wasn’t. I begged Bob to let me put it away. He was relentless. I wasn’t having fun. My back hurt. My eyes were drying out. My laundry was piling up. I hadn’t brushed my teeth in days. I was consuming massive amounts of cookies and coffee.

I thought about the frame. We had picked through all thousand pieces to put it together first. Unfortunately we had missed two pieces as the cruel puzzle maker had somehow managed to craft those pieces to look nothing like an edge. So wrong. But we had enough to work with. We could begin to fill it in.

Bob continued to remain steadfast and refused to let me throw the puzzle back in the box and burn it. I watched him work diligently, happily placing one or two pieces and giving each a triumphant tap as the picture began to come together. He not only didn’t mind the challenge, he liked it. That has always amazed me about him, I thought as I rifled through the box wondering if maybe I was color blind.

I needed an adjustment (not chiropractic, though that wouldn’t have been a bad idea after several days bent over a table). So with the next piece that I found I celebrated. Not just a little tap on the piece, but a hip, hip hooray. Completing this puzzle was going to take commitment and a thousand little celebrations.

I’m happy to tell you that we did complete it. Then I quickly gave it away.

There is something else that I have completed recently. It started out as a bunch of characters, mental pictures and words in that brain box of mine. Slowly the edges began to come together and then the picture started to gain focus. There were a couple of key missing elements to the frame but with the help of my friends and family I was able to discover them. Soon I had a completed work. My book. I completed the middle-grade novel that I have been working on for the last nine years. After a few minor edits, I’ll attempt to enter the world of published authors. I plan on starting that process in May. This is one big celebration for me. It’s even better than placing a puzzle piece.

14 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on March 6, 2015 • Permalink

Posted in Family, Stuff I Go Through, Writing

Tagged 1000 piece puzzles, celebrating, celebrations, Christmas puzzles, Cookie Monster, family jigsaw puzzles, Inner Cookie Monster, jigsaw puzzles, macaroons, middle-grade novel, Paris, Thanksgiving puzzle, traditional puzzles, writing a book, writing a middle-grade novel

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on March 6, 2015

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2015/03/06/a-thousand-little-celebrations/

Great Joy

I would love to share a picture with you. The picture would be what joy looks like. But that is challenging to capture in a photograph. It is even more challenging for me since my camera went missing.

Of course, there are numerous devices which I own that I could use to take photographs. I’m typing on one right now. But for me the best options for achieving the perfect picture are found on my Nikon camera. I love this camera. We bought it before we went to Europe two years ago. It has a wi-fi setting on it so I can move the pictures miraculously through the air from the camera to my iPad.

Since at any given time this camera may have priceless photographs on it, it falls into the category of things which I hide from burglars. Recently there have been several break-ins in our area. These usually occur during the daytime by means of a door being kicked in. The thieves target empty houses. At our house there is almost always somebody home, so I don’t worry too much about it.

Inevitably though, the house had to be emptied of people. It was just a matter of time before we all had some place to go at the same time, leaving our driveway empty, which in my eyes was like posting a “Welcome” sign to hooligans.

So, I hide things. Laptops, tablets, jewelry, cameras. Usually I remember where I hide them. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I don’t even remember that I hide them, which brings me to my camera.

We had a family gathering and I went to get the camera. Hum, I must have left it in the other room, I thought to myself. Immediately that feeling of dread came over me. I must have hidden my camera. I wonder where.

I spent the next several days ransacking my house, much like a burglar would have done only neater. After three days I’d say my house was more organized than ever. Drawers are clean, cupboards are orderly. I would take a picture to show you only…..

I prayed that God would show me where my camera was hiding. I prayed this several times. I guess God wanted me to get my house organized. Plus, God wanted to show me something about trust. I needed to learn to trust Him more. I could argue that the items I hide are items that are of sentimental value or, in the case of electronics, have things that are difficult to replace stored in them. Financial records, pictures, the book I’m writing. Good argument, but I still realized I had to trust all of that with God.

On Tuesday night I prayed before I went to bed. I asked God to show me where the camera was the next day. I didn’t want to pressure him, but I was spending a lot of time looking for it. Hours. Days. I felt unproductive and frustrated.

The next day I continued my search, organizing along the way. No camera. That night Bob and I were packing things for our trip to Arlington National Cemetery. It was time to place his father’s ashes there. I had resigned to the fact that I would be using my phone to take pictures.

Earlier that day I took a flashlight and shined it in dark places in my house to see if that elusive camera in its black case was hiding in a corner or something. This was to no avail. For some reason I picked up that flashlight again, aimed it into a corner of my bedroom and voila – there was my camera!

I was giddy with excitement. I grabbed Bob by the arms and did the dance of joy (a la Balki and Larry from the 1980s TV show Perfect Strangers). I rejoiced. I thanked God. Bob looked at me like I was weird. (That happens a lot.) But he rejoiced with me, too.

God gently showed me that I need not fear or be crazy protective over anything that I think I need. He will supply all my needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). Therefore, if I need something, anything, He will make sure that I have that. I can trust him.

Then it hit me. What great joy our Heavenly Father has when one of us who was lost is found. The light of Jesus shined into the darkness that was my life and I was restored to my Heavenly Father through his shed blood. Now that’s joy. Even something to dance and shout about.

2 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on February 27, 2015 • Permalink

Posted in Faith, Stuff I Go Through

Tagged Balki and Larry, dance of joy, hiding things to protect from thieves, Nikon camera, Perfect Strangers, restored to our Heavenly Father, the blood of Jesus, trust, Trusting God

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on February 27, 2015

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2015/02/27/great-joy/

Saving the Day in a Hallmark Store – It’s NBD

I had an amazing moment in a Hallmark store wherein I was able to help two ladies out of a dilemma. I noticed these ladies, who were about my age, in deep conversation about a decorative license plate. After several minutes, they crossed over to where I was and asked me if I could read it. Neither of them could figure out what it said.

Without so much as a second thought, I said, “Cutie forever.” Well, I hadn’t heard that many accolades aimed in my direction in years. They high-fived me and were giddy with excitement over my interpreting what is the present-day equivalent of reading Egyptian hieroglyphics – abbreviation speech. You would have thought I pulled them from a burning building. This must be what it feels like to be in a “state of fabulousness.”

Yes, I had cracked the code. It was really NBD (no big deal). I felt like I had received an award as they went on and on about how smart I was. I remained humble. I didn’t want to let them know that it was really 2EZ a problem to solve.

ATEOTD (at the end of the day), as I reflected with my husband on just how awesome I was, he was nearly speechless. Finally, he said, “UR.”

“Y2K (you’re too kind),” I replied.

NTS (note to self), maybe my high school dream of being an interpreter can still come true – forget Spanish, knowing Abbrev Speech will be much more valuable.

2 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on November 7, 2014 • Permalink

Posted in Stuff I Go Through

Tagged Abbrev Speech, Abbreviation Speech, Hallmark, Hallmark Store, NBD

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on November 7, 2014

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2014/11/07/saving-the-day-in-a-hallmark-store-its-nbd/

The Woes of Car Shopping

I mentioned in my last blog post that Bob and I had been car shopping. I think that is responsible for my recent gain of a few pounds. I can’t blame it on the stress of shopping or on the fact that we were running around too much to eat properly. I blame it on Nissan – in particular on a salesman at a local Nissan dealership.

We had been scouting out the different compact SUVs and were interested in Nissan’s version, the Murano. A young salesman took us out on the lot. He was noticeably wet behind the ears. He pointed to a Quest and said, “This might be what you’re looking for.”

“Uh, I think that’s a minivan,” I said.

“Oh, you’re right. Sorry. This is the one you want to see,” he said as he aimed us toward a Murano. “Yes, this is the Milano; it’s a great little vehicle.”

He opened it up for us and let us sit inside of it. He showed us the engine and told us all about it. “The Milano will give you a smooth ride and, of course, the Milano gets great gas mileage. We sell a lot of Milanos.”

Less Crunchy than an Automobile

Finally I couldn’t take it any longer and said, “You should probably know that this vehicle is a Murano, not a Milano. A Milano is a cookie made by Pepperidge Farm.”

He was quite embarrassed but that didn’t stop him from continuing to refer to the car as a Milano. Not once did he use the proper name. Between that and realizing he didn’t know the difference between a minivan and an SUV, we were out of there.

Question: If a car bears the name of a cookie, even in your mind, does that mean it could be a crummy car? Probably not, but it’s pretty bad when car shopping puts not-so-subliminal messages in your mind that make you binge on cookies.

1 Comment

by Bonnie Anderson on October 29, 2014 • Permalink

Posted in Stuff I Go Through

Tagged car shopping, Milano Cookies, Nissan, Nissan Murano, Pepperidge Farm

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on October 29, 2014

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2014/10/29/the-woes-of-car-shopping/

Who Am I? (A Deep Question to Ponder)

I don’t know what to label myself anymore. It used to be so simple. I was a stay-at-home mom. While raising my children I have had numerous cottage businesses, but my true love was being a stay-at-home mom, caring for my husband and four children. Now, my kids are grown but I still stay at home (technically I do a lot of things out of the house – it’s not like I’m locked in here).

So, what label should I give myself now? The question is always coming up – what do you do? Honestly, I hate that question. Your job only tells others so much about you. Maybe you’re an engineer like my husband. Does that mean you are a scientist working in front of a computer designing things? Maybe you build bridges or work in a nuclear power plant. Maybe you take care of a building. All of those things fall under the heading of engineer. So telling someone you are an engineer doesn’t offer much, except that you excel in math and you probably have people ask you to help with their computer.

When I told people I was a housewife that didn’t mean I was married to my house. In the same way, telling people I was a stay-at-home mom didn’t mean that I was always home. This brings me to a situation I recently found myself in when Bob and I were car shopping. We sat down at a dealership with a young man. And I do mean young – his mother may have had to drop him off and pick him up.

He looked at Bob and asked what he does for a living. Bob’s answer was easy. Then he asked me, “What do you do?”

I answered, “Have you ever been to a circus and seen the cats performing in between the big acts? I train cats.”

“Really? You mean lions and tigers?”

It took a lot of training to get him to do this. Not!

“No, domestic cats. The ones you see jumping through hula hoops, pushing baby carts or climbing ropes and crossing tight wires.” (I don’t know why I said that. I had not planned it in advance. Bob just sat there staring at me, probably wondering where a whopper of a lie like that came from and questioning everything I ever told him.)

The young salesman didn’t miss a beat. “I didn’t know cats could be trained. I have two I’d love for you to spend some time with.”

“Oh, yeah, cats can be trained,” I said with confidence.

Honestly, I don’t know where this story came from or why I perpetuated it; but telling it was the most fun I have ever had while car shopping.

Finally, after looking at Bob whose eyes seemed to say, “Who are you,” I confessed that I was having some fun with this guy. He was good-natured about it, but he was trying to sell us a car. We didn’t buy from him. I wasn’t about to buy a car from a person who bought my cat-training story. He simply couldn’t be trusted.

10 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on October 22, 2014 • Permalink

Posted in Stuff I Go Through

Tagged occupational labels, shopping for a new car, training cats

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on October 22, 2014

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2014/10/22/who-am-i-a-deep-question-to-ponder/

Relationship Disconnect

Politics has killed one of my relationships – one that spanned 31 years. It’s sad – senseless even. It didn’t have to end this way. I tried to ignore the negatives and concentrate on the positives, but I could only take so much.

It was a phone call that made me realize it was over – another call with constant nagging about their political views. It didn’t matter if I agreed or disagreed; they refused to listen to me. It was like I was talking to a machine! The audacity! The arrogance! I reached my breaking point.

Yes, my husband and I decided it was time to pull the plug on our home phone. It was during the last presidential election season that we realized the end was near. So, after much agonizing and gnashing of teeth, we have stepped into the present times and no longer have a land line in our house. I will miss my “298” number, but I won’t look back. I’m not sure what I’ll do when all the automated political machines find my cell number, but I can’t think about that right now. I need only embrace the silence; oh, and remember that I don’t have to check my home answering machine any more. Old habits are hard to break.