All posts in category Stuff I Go Through

Costco on Superbowl Sunday, Only When Necessary

What would compel my husband and me to go to Costco on Superbowl Sunday? Add to the conundrum the fact that we both had colds and weren’t feeling great. I’ll give you some hints below and then you can see if you can figure it out.

I have a list of things that I refer to as necessities (which clearly are not). If I run out of anything on that list, I will go to the store before the sun sets – it doesn’t matter if it’s raining, sweltering hot out or freezing cold, or if I am sick or healthy. I prefer not to think of this as an obsession, but as an act of love for my husband since I cannot be held responsible for my behavior if anything on my list is denied me. That list includes the following:

  1. Coffee
  2. Half and Half for my coffee
  3. Splenda (again for my coffee – you may be seeing a trend developing)
  4. Caffeine-Free Diet Coke (I can’t have the caffeinated kind because I take my caffeine in through #1 above and also have to cut out that caffeine after 4 PM. I’m so committed to this drink that for Christmas Bob bought me a new “movie purse” that is insulated so I can smuggle my precious drink that won’t keep me up all night into the movies with me since no theater ever carries decaf/diet cola drinks. The purse also has a handy pocket for my popcorn salt, which is a must-have to keep that popcorn at the right salty goodness all the way down to the bottom of the bag. Don’t mock me until you try it.)
  5. Toilet Paper (okay, this one I really would consider a necessity)
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The perfect gift from my husband – my movie purse (available at Costco, of course)

Then I have the list of things that I prefer to have. These things can wait until morning or until the rain stops. They include:

  1. Breyer’s Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups Ice Cream, which is a wonderful blend of peanut butter light ice cream with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup pieces and a fudge swirl, and it’s only 170 calories per half cup. I periodically get stuck on a particular snack/dessert, and that becomes my go-to-snack. I’ve been stuck on this item for about three years. It may set a new record for me.
  2. Bananas – Could there be a more perfect fruit?
  3. Paper towels – I confess we’re a little on the messy side.
  4. Bottled water

All I need is this ice cream, and coffee, and diet coke, sigh….

I was talking to my daughter today and lamenting going to Costco and braving the crowds on Sunday. When she asked me what it was that we needed so badly, I said, “Water. We were out.”

It sounded funny as I said it. Out of water? Oh, I’ve heard that you can get it from those spigots in the kitchen and bathroom, but I can’t see myself actually drinking that stuff.

10 Comments
by Bonnie Anderson on February 5, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Bonnie Anderson on February 5, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/02/05/costco-on-superbowl-sunday-only-when-necessary/

My Book-Reading Year in Review

Last year in January, I noticed some of the blogs I was reading offered a list of books that the author had read in the prior year.  I found the lists interesting and motivating, as well as a little intimidating.  There are some voracious readers out there!  I decided I would keep my own list in 2012 and share it with you.

Disclaimer:  I think this is the entire list.  Sometimes I forget to write things down.  I can only hope that I forgot to include a couple of books that would feed my spiritual side or my marriage, but, who am I kidding.  I don’t think there were any.  On my 2013 list there will be.

So without further ado, here’s my list of books that I completed in 2012:

  • Lunatics by Dave Barry – I started the year out with humor.  As I have mentioned in my blog before, I love Dave Barry.  Every time he writes a new book it goes to the top of my must-read list.  This book, though, was very disappointing for me.  I cannot even recommend it.  I did read it all the way through, but that was based on the combination of my love for Dave’s writing and my hope that it would get better.  It had its moments, but it was too crude for my taste.  I should have known by the title that I would go a little crazy finishing it.
  • Forever Erma by Erma Bombeck – This collection of Erma’s best columns was a sheer delight to read.  I laughed.  I cried.  I read a lot of it aloud to my husband (Bob).  Oh, Erma, how I miss you!
  • The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins – I had to know what all the fuss was about.  My daughter and husband had both read the book and raved about it.  The movie was coming out.  I succumbed to the pressure.  During the first third of the book you could hear me saying things like, “This is awful!”  or “How can they do this?”  or “This is disturbing!”  Yet, I was compelled to finish this well-written story and did before the movie was released, which was my goal.
  • Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins – The first book was so good that I had to read this one.  It was a respectable sequel to The Hunger Games – an enjoyable read.
  • Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins – I was committed to finish the series.  Unfortunately, in my opinion, the finale was lacking in comparison to its predecessors.
  • Manhunt, The 12 Day Chase for Lincoln’s Killer by James Swanson – Easily the most gripping book I read last year.  How Mr. Swanson could cover those 12 days in the life of so many different characters was beyond explanation.  I felt like I was watching a play with scene changes.  It was tremendous.
  • The Limpopo Academy of Private Detection by Alexander McCall Smith – This is the 13th offering in my favorite book series, The Number One Ladies Detective Agency.  It is set in modern-day Botswana.  I am amazed at the how each book in this charming series gets better than the one before it.
  • You are a Writer (So Start Acting Like One) by Jeff Goins – I am thankful that I read this book.  At least there is one on my list that helped me in my craft!
  • Ivy and Bean by Annie Barrows and Sophie Blackall – I read this book to Mia and Ella (my granddaughters who are 9 and 7).  We all enjoyed the relationship of the title characters who have nothing in common except the street they live on, yet become best friends.
  • The Great Cake Mystery by Alexander McCall Smith – I was thrilled to see a children’s book based on the main character of the Ladies Detective Agency.  This shows her early inclinations to solve mysteries.  My granddaughters and I loved it.
  • Through the Eyes of Grace by Debi Gray Walter – This is the premier book written by my wonderful friend, Debi.  It was a privilege to walk with Debi as she wrote the book and discuss it with her as it progressed.  The finished product is a wonderful tribute to her grandmother, but even more it’s a story of God’s grace and an encouragement to get to know the older generations in one’s family.
  • The Deepest Waters by Dan Walsh – This is the second book of Dan’s that I have read.  It is a totally captivating love story featuring a shipwreck.  My husband and I both enjoyed it immensely.
  • Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand by Helen Simonson – Set in England, Major Pettigrew is a very proper older man who discovers friendship and love in an unusual way.   The New York Times compared Simonson with McCall Smith, so I had to give this a try.  I do see some similarities and I enjoyed the unfolding of the story and its very satisfying ending.
  • Curiosity Killed the Cat Sitter by Blaize Clement – While on vacation, Bob and I stopped in a cute little book store in Sarasota.  As I perused the section devoted to local authors, I came upon this book.  The title reeled me right in.  I did enjoy the book up until the last few chapters, which were too graphic for me; and, therefore, like Dave Barry’s Lunacy, I can’t recommend it.
  • The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson – This is another book I read to my granddaughters.  Hearing them laugh like crazy and then quote the book back to their parents was more than rewarding.  All I can say is, I don’t care how old you are, if you haven’t read this book, read it.  It’s a hoot and a holler with a great message.
  • The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien – Finally, I read something by Tolkien.  I was embraced by his lovely story telling from the very first chapter.  When my kids were reading this book I was too busy driving them every place imaginable, doing laundry and cooking dinner to do much reading.  At that point, every time I sat down with a book I ended up taking an impromptu nap.  When they released the trailer for this movie, I determined to read the book before seeing it.  Mission accomplished.  Both the book and the movie were great.

I’d love to hear what you are reading.  Please share in the comments section.

4 Comments
by Bonnie Anderson on January 29, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Bonnie Anderson on January 29, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/01/29/my-book-reading-year-in-review/

At Least the Twitching Has Passed

I am at that point in my life when I thought that things for me would be relatively simple.  The kids are all grown.  The pets have all died.  My husband loves his job.  I don’t have to go to work.

But for somebody who has no job or kids to run around, I don’t find myself home alone much.  I attribute that to the fact that I am part of the generation that provides the bridge between our own children and grandchildren and our parents.  Some call us the sandwich generation.  (In my case, it’s a club sandwich.)  One of the things that I do is transport my father-in-law to doctor appointments a few times a month or run errands with him.  I recently took him to a doctor appointment.  It doesn’t sound too complicated – just pick him up from his Assisted Living Facility (ALF) and drive him to the doctor.  Right?  Wrong!  Doctor appointments begin days before the actual date on which they fall.  Let me tell you the excruciating tale of the last appointment.

Once upon a time, there was a man named Dale who loved to go to the doctor.  (It probably had to do with the fact that it got him out of his apartment.)  Dale had an appointment to get an epidural injection for the relief of his back pain. Since he had various health issues that required many medications, this was complicated.  He had to go off of certain meds during the week prior to receiving the shot.  Dale’s appointment was for a Friday.  I was to pick him up at 9:30 that morning.  Let’s back up a few days so you can see what went on leading up to that appointment.

Two weeks earlier I gave notice to his nurse of the appointment, along with the doctor’s requirement of him discontinuing his Coumadin a week prior to the shot.  We have done this a few times before, so no problem.

Wednesday:  I call the ALF to remind them of the appointment on Friday and remind them I will need fresh blood work to take with me at that time (they already have the prescription for it).  Problem – there will be no time to get the blood work done on Friday morning, so Thursday afternoon will have to suffice.  Fine.

Thursday at 5:15 PM – I get a call from Dale’s nurse saying that somehow he received his Coumadin the night before.  She was very apologetic, and I knew it was unusual for a mistake to be made.  I call the pain doctor, but of course, it’s after hours.  I talk with the answering service; she talks with the doctor; twenty minutes later they agree to allow the injection as long as his blood work looks good.  I call the ALF back and report.  Oops, the blood work was not done; but they assure me they will get someone in very early the next day so we will be set.  By now, I’m actually at the facility picking up Dale to go out and celebrate his 90th birthday with the family.  The family showing is on the light side because five of us have the flu, but the healthy ones still have a nice dinner out to celebrate with him.  My favorite quote of the night was when he said, “I’ve waited 90 years for this dinner.”

Celebrating Bob's father's 90th birthday at Kobe.

Celebrating Bob’s father’s 90th birthday at Kobe.

Later that night – Bob (my husband) takes his dad back to the ALF and reminds him that he is not to eat anything after midnight and not to drink anything after 8:00 AM.

Friday at 9:15 AM – I arrive to pick up Dale only to find that the he does not have the blood work results.  I rush over to the nurses’ station and inquire.  The guy was late to draw the blood.  They try to track him down on his cell phone to have him drop the sample off at the closest lab and fax the results to our pain doctor.  They get his voice mail.  I call the pain doctor who tells me to go ahead and come.  They’ll at least examine him and probably receive the results in time to have the injection.  I inform them I’ll be ten minutes late.  They are gracious.

Friday at 9:50 AM – I’m driving down the road with Dale and we joke about how maybe he’s not supposed to have this shot today after all.  Then it occurs to me to ask a question.  “Dad, you didn’t eat anything today, did you?”  His reply, “Just a half a sandwich at about 7 AM.”  I call the pain doctor from my cell phone.  By now they know my voice.  “Well, he can’t have the shot.  We can’t anesthetize him after eating.  Unless… I guess he could just get a local if he’s okay with that.”  He was.  I inform them we will be about 15 minutes late now that we have entered a traffic-jammed construction zone.  I start twitching.

Friday at 10:15 AM – We arrive at the office only to find out that, of course, they have not yet received the blood work results.  I call the ALF and get their voice mail.  The doctor comes in and prescribes a sedative for me (just kidding).  Seriously, he could see that I was totally stressed out and he was so kind and patient.  He examined my father-in-law and sent us upstairs to await the blood work results.

Friday at 11:15 AM – The results are in – the shot is a “Go.”

On the way home, Dale wants to go shopping or out to lunch, but I remind him that he is to rest for the remainder of the day.  I drop him off at 12:15, confer with the ALF staff and head out.

Friday at 12:30 – I call Bob and let him know he’ll be taking me out to dinner that night.  I should be totally relaxed after treating myself to a massage and a nap.  He was happy to comply.

10 Comments
by Bonnie Anderson on January 22, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Bonnie Anderson on January 22, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/01/22/at-least-the-twitching-has-passed/

What Happens When Sunday School and Second Grade Collide?

In August I ventured into some new yet familiar waters.  One day a week, in an effort to assist my daughter in home schooling, my granddaughters come over for “Grandmom School.”  The idea came to me last spring, but I was hesitant to tell anyone for fear I was actually being prompted by God to do this and, therefore, might have to follow through.

When at last I broke down and told Bob, he said he thought it was a good idea. I mentioned it to Dena and I’m not sure, but I think I saw a tear in her eye as she jumped up and down and immediately said “Yes.”  So now every Thursday is a school day.  We are focusing on language arts – spelling, reading, writing, penmanship.  The girls are in second and fourth grade.  Dena has two other children who are six months old and four.  I thought she and the other kids would benefit from a day off while I worked with the girls for her.

Having been down this road before, I determined not to assume that Dena had omitted anything from their education.  Kids can make you look bad, and I didn’t want to think the worst when they didn’t know things that I thought they should have already been taught.  They forget from year to year.  Add to that this new home-school setting where they are completely comfortable with me but not as their teacher, and I was ready for them to shout out the first thing that popped into their budding little brains when asked a question.

At least I thought I was ready.

We had been reading The Great Cake Mystery by Alexander McCall Smith.  It is set in Botswana, so I added a study of that country.  They also learned about animals of Africa, which was their favorite part, and we reviewed the continents and the oceans, just to make sure they were seeing the big picture.

During this study, we compared the United States with Botswana, and I asked them a few things about our country.  In hindsight, I may have shifted gears too quickly for them, but it did make for an interesting conversation.  Here is a sample.  The girls’ responses are in italics.  I won’t attribute to a particular child, but I will say that Ella is the fastest to shout out an answer, being first to answer is what it’s all about for her, right or wrong.  If they can just match the exuberance of answering a question with listening to the entire question and thinking it through, they’ll be fine.

Me – “What is the capital of the United States?

The United States of America.

Well, that’s the complete name of our country.  What is the capital of The United States of America?

The White House.

Okay, let’s back up a bit.  Who is the current president of the United States?

Barack Obama.

Good.  Now who was our first president?

Silence

Can you name any other president besides President Obama?

Silence

I know you know at least one more.  Think a minute.  You read a book about a president last year.  He was very tall and wore a stove-pipe hat.

Silence

Okay, remember that we visited the capital last year and we went to several museums and saw many monuments.  One had a huge statue of our sixteenth president sitting on a chair.  Another monument is tall and looks like a pencil.  It is named for our first president, just like the capital is.  The first president is sometimes referred to as the father of our country.

I know – Father Abraham.

It was all I could do at this point not to break down – I was holding back tears, laughter and having to restrain myself from singing Father Abraham, but I kept going.  Finally they shouted out George Washington.  I was exhausted!

Ella “holding” the Washington Monument

Later I got to thinking – Maybe I should make sure they are not confusing Abraham Lincoln with the Abraham of the Old Testament, but I was too afraid to go there.  The learning continues.

12 Comments
by Bonnie Anderson on November 27, 2012  •  Permalink
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Posted by Bonnie Anderson on November 27, 2012

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2012/11/27/what-happens-when-sunday-school-and-second-grade-collide/

Tale of a Tempermental Toilet

Bob called me from work today and asked me to go back in the bathroom and look in the toilet.  Having raised three sons, this is not the first time that I have had that requested of me.  Usually it meant that somebody had evacuated their bowels in the shape of an animal or maybe their initials.  I don’t fall for this anymore, but since Bob didn’t seem to be holding back laughter, I accommodated him (though not without a clarifying question).

“Why do you want me to look in the toilet, did you leave a little present for me there?” I asked.  Of course, that was not the case, but I couldn’t disappoint him by not asking.

Let me give you the scoop about our commode.  I’ve been losing sleep over it – literally.  You could say that I’m (sorry) pooped.  This is how the night starts – I begin drifting off to sleep and then I hear a soft flushing noise coming from our bathroom.  It’s short lived but effective in keeping me awake and it happens intermittently.  Sometimes just for variety the flushing mechanism moans like a motor trying to turn over until I finally drag myself out of bed and turn the water off.  By the way, these are sounds that only a woman can hear.  I know this because Bob sleeps right through them.  Since he does believe me and has on occasion even admitted to hearing these sounds, he has purposed to bring peace and quiet back to our bathroom.

Sleek, Luxurious, Annoying

Usually this is an easy fix but not this time.  The problem is we bought one of those fancy-shmancy push button toilets from Costco.  The flusher button is split in two pieces.  You push the small one for pee and the large one for feces.

I confess we were blinded by the glamour of this classy porcelain throne without a handle sticking out the side of it marring its beauty.  We just never stopped to consider the difficulty of replacing parts.  Another bad idea was putting the model number inside the tank.  Thanks to our hard water down here in Orlando, that number had long since been obliterated.

But we have a happy ending to our story.  Costco, which is in contention with Disney World for being the happiest place on earth, came to our rescue.  I went down there and talked to the lady at the customer service counter.  She looked up our records all the way back to January of 2009 when we made this purchase and gave me all the information we needed.  Bob called the company today.  They told us our toilet is under warranty and in 3-7 business days we’ll be sitting pretty with a straight flush.

6 Comments
by Bonnie Anderson on November 20, 2012  •  Permalink
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Posted by Bonnie Anderson on November 20, 2012

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2012/11/20/tale-of-a-tempermental-toilet/

The Moon Is Waning but Don’t Worry, It’s Just a Phase

I’ve been trying to determine if I am an optimist or a pessimist, but it’s a challenge.  Regarding some things I am really a glass-is-half-full type of person.  Other things are more like the glass is half empty but the part that surprisingly has anything in it has spoiled and if I drink it I’ll probably die.  I go in cycles (not that kind – well maybe that kind).

To the point, let me tell you that recently I updated my home page on my computer and included a pictorial of the current phase of the moon.  Today’s moon phase is Waning Crescent 2% of Full.

Amazing!  Whoever came up with labeling the phases of the moon must have been quite the optimist.  I most likely would have said Waning Crescent 98% Darkened.  Perhaps if I had been around during the early years of mankind I would have assessed it as The Moon is Disappearing and We’re All Going to Die in the Darkness of Night.  At that point I would have asked my husband Bob, who would have been an engineer like he is today even though nobody would have come up with that name yet, to please quickly invent something that would give light and warmth before we were attacked in our sleep by whatever crept around in the darkness or worse yet by that weird guy with eight saber-tooth cats who lived down the path.

At any rate, I would have been pleasantly surprised when the moon started to grow in size again, which would have given Bob a bit more time to develop that light source he was working on.

So in a day when we are approaching a fiscal cliff and the moon is waning, I choose to look for that moon to wax again.  It might light our way in case we don’t get a barricade up in time to keep us all from plunging to our death.  Oops, I mean it might light our way to see the loveliness of the terrain as we enjoy the scenic view of the side of the cliff.  Is that better?  I’ll look at it as a baby step toward optimism.

Psalm 42:11 – Why are you downcast, O my soul?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

3 Comments
by Bonnie Anderson on November 13, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Current Events, Faith, Stuff I Go Through
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Posted by Bonnie Anderson on November 13, 2012

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2012/11/13/the-moon-is-waning-but-dont-worry-its-just-a-phase/

Election Day is Every Day

Today is Election Day and I am excited.  I’m excited about not having to listen to campaign commercials that use music piped in from a funeral home.  Excited about being able to answer my house phone again and talk to a real person on the other end of the line.  (Yes, I have a land line, which I will surely get rid of before the next presidential election process begins.)  Excited to see the campaign signs cleared from the highways.  And, of course, excited to see if my candidates win.

But today, while our main focus is on choosing the man who will be our president for the next four years, let us not lose sight of the many and varied choices we make in our lives every day – things that we “vote” for with our dollars when we go to the store.  Things that enrich our lives.  Things that we hold dearly.  Things like paper towels.

These are some of the topics that divide our country.  Some would say they are nothing more than personal preference, but look deeper.  What do your choices say about you and what do you say about other people’s choices?  Personally, I am trying to rise above judging in any of these matters, even though I am pretty passionate about some.  I’ve listed a few choice hot topics below for your consideration.  Where do you stand on these important issues?

  1. Paper towels – I like the ones where you can select the size.  When I see your one sheet towels I wonder what you are really thinking here.  Do you put them out for me because I’m perceived as sloppy?  My select a size allows you to use what you need without any preconceived notion of how messy you will be.
  2. Wine vs. beer – I don’t like the taste of beer and it is hard for me to understand that you prefer it over wine, which I am very fond of.  I am a fan of the majority of beer commercials though, so I’ll try not to be too hard-nosed about this.
  3. Sushi – I will never understand you people who eat sushi, much less those of you who try to force your sushi on me.  I won’t force McDonalds on you if you don’t force sushi on me.
  4. Indian food – My tastes are pretty conservative.  Indian food is a little out there for me.  See #3 above.
  5. College Football – I couldn’t care any less about college football.  People try to convince me that it’s all that and I wish they’d just give up.  I also don’t get it when people make a team their team when they never went to that college.  I guess sometimes we simply don’t understand each other, and I need to accept that.
  6. Scary movies – I don’t like scary movies.  Why spend $12 to be scared?  I like comedies.  I don’t understand that you would rather scream in fear than laugh at someone trip over an ottoman (I mean a stool, not a person from13th century Turkey).
  7. M&Ms – How can you prefer plain over peanut?  What’s wrong with you?
  8. Dark chocolate vs. Milk chocolate – Come on, the taste of dark chocolate is bitter.  Is it just that you’ve read up on dark chocolate and decided to like it because it may be healthier?  You will never convince me that it is better than milk chocolate in all its yummy sweetness.  You may as well stop trying; this will always be a bitter-sweet debate.
  9. FOX News vs. MSNBC vs. CNN – I’m not even going to go here because frankly I can hardly stand to watch any of them at this point.
  10. Romney vs. Obama – Nope, not even going to go there either.  My policy is – If you can’t say something funny, don’t say anything at all.
8 Comments
by Bonnie Anderson on November 6, 2012  •  Permalink
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Posted by Bonnie Anderson on November 6, 2012

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2012/11/06/election-day-is-every-day/

Help, I’m Chained to my Computer

Bob is making me write this post.  He likes to force me out of my comfort zone.  Currently he is standing over me with his arms folded in front of him yelling, “Type, type.”  It’s like the writer’s version of being chained in the hold of a boat while the master yells, “Row, row.”  He has promised to let me have a sip of water once I’ve posted.

The reason for my hesitation is that this post is a little like patting myself on the back.  I’m not comfortable doing that.  Perhaps I should stretch first and that would help.  Anyway, Bob thought I should tell you a bit of exciting news.

My last post about stalking zombies at CVS described one of the most spontaneous bits of fun I’ve had meeting new people while out and about.  I decided to share it on Erma Bombeck’s Writers’ Workshop facebook page.  Today I was contacted and asked if they could share it on their blog.  I am so honored.  I grew up reading Erma and feel like she is part of my extended family.  I am reminded that I would have stopped writing a long time ago if I didn’t have a few people out there reading what I wrote (besides my mom and dad).  So, thank you, my friends, for reading the stuff I throw at you.  You warm my heart with your kind words of encouragement.  I hope my little offerings lighten your load and bring a smile to your faces.

In case you’d like to see my post on the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop Blog and also take a look at what some other humor writers are doing, you can click on this link  for the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop Blog.  It is a very entertaining place to hang out and do some reading.

Now, if Bob doesn’t mind, I think I’ll have that sip of water.

16 Comments
by Bonnie Anderson on November 1, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Stuff I Go Through, Writing
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Posted by Bonnie Anderson on November 1, 2012

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2012/11/01/help-im-chained-to-my-computer/

Ten Scary Things

Since Halloween is quickly approaching, I have a list of some of the scary things in my life that I’d like to share with you.

Great pumpkin charlie brown title card.jpg

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

  1. I tried to set up to record “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,” only to discover that it doesn’t come on until Halloween night at 8:30.  That means no pre-Halloween encouragement to sit in the pumpkin patch all night awaiting the Great Pumpkin!  I’m a little disappointed, it’s like somebody just gave me a rock.
  2. Add to the above the fact that the stores already look more like Christmas than Halloween or fall.  That means that by November 1, the only thing left from Halloween is sugared up kids and cavities.  Who wants to watch the Great Pumpkin when it’s time to watch “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving?”
  3. I saw a man walking down my street the other day carrying something by his side that was long and ominous looking.  Yes, it appeared to be a shotgun.  I didn’t recognize the guy so I felt slightly threatened until I got a closer look and realized he was carrying an umbrella.  I guess the only threat that day was one of rain.
  4. Recently I was horrified when I realized the glow coming from the trashcan in the bathroom was from a candle that I had thrown away because I thought it was burnt out.  This is another reason I’m thankful that I switched to battery operated candles.
  5. My granddaughter, Mia, commented that she thought it strange that Bumpa (Bob) has gray hair and I don’t.  I had to confess that if I don’t go see my friend Diana every six to eight weeks, that mystery will be solved.
  6. I remembered something the other day and I was so proud of myself.  The scary thing is that now I don’t remember what it was that I remembered, but I know I was very excited about it.
  7. Bob and I went to the movies the other night.  I asked the guy at the ticket booth how old you have to be to be a senior there.  He said 60.  Then I made him guess if we were old enough for the senior discount.  I think this will be my new movie theater game.  It’s fun to make them squirm.  Let’s see – discount ticket vs. being thought older than I am.  It’s a bit of a toss-up.  Once after we got into the theater I noticed on our credit card slip that we had received the senior discount.  I was so offended that I tried to get Bob to go give them some more money.
  8. And on this same subject, I am learning to type on my i-Phone without my glasses on.  I am far-sighted so in the theater I don’t need them.  For some reason I seem to get blogging ideas when the previews are running and don’t want to fumble around trying to find my glasses so I just make a stab at it.  The interesting part is later on when I try to read what I wrote.  For example, according to my i-Phone notes, #7 above was about trying to make the guy at the ticket booth guess if I’m an armoire.
  9. After listening to a British gentleman repeatedly use the word “organization,” the other day, I decided that from now on I will pronounce that word the British way.  Since then I have come to the realization that I never find an occasion to use that word.  Now I need to go out and join an organ-I-zation so I have opportunity to use my new pronunciation.  This is a little scary for me as I don’t have an abundance of extra time right now.  Maybe I’ll form my own organ-I-zation and meet in my car when I’m out running errands.
  10. I have two bird baths – one for birds and one for bees.  (Too bad they weren’t around when we were explaining the facts of life to our kids.)  No matter what I do to the second one, the bees keep coming back.  This was not my intent for that birdbath.  Today I watched three bees perched on the edge of their birdbath drinking.  It was one of the strangest things I have ever seen.  I would have taken a picture except on impulse I got brave and pushed the whole thing over, bees and all.  They didn’t care for that and let me know by swarming so I ran in the house.  Now that’s scary.
6 Comments
by Bonnie Anderson on October 29, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Holidays, Stuff I Go Through
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Posted by Bonnie Anderson on October 29, 2012

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2012/10/29/ten-scary-things/

The Power of the Pistachio – That’s a Tough Nut to Crack

I don’t know if you realize it, but pistachio nuts are very expensive.  I bought one of these big bags at Costco the other day and it set us back over $200.  Technically the nuts only cost $18, but the orthodontic bill was $195.

BIG, OPEN PISTACHIOS are what’s advertised, but nothing is mentioned about what percentage of them is open.  To their credit, I would estimate about 95 percent, which is a great improvement over those sealed shut, red-dyed beauties of days gone by; but somewhere in that five percent as I tried to open a nut, I opened myself up to trouble instead (including four trips to the orthodontist).

I’ve told my kids many times not to use their teeth to open things.  I wish I listened to myself more often, although now I do have concrete proof that I knew what I was talking about.  To sum up, don’t use your teeth to open things and especially don’t if you have a retainer fixed to the back of your upper teeth.  You may end up cracking more than a nut.

I knew right away what a stupid thing I had done.  I am crediting it to temporary insanity or going nuts, if you will.  What is the power of the pistachio that causes me to go to such great lengths for one little nut?  It’s pretty pathetic.  And it’s embarrassing.  The orthodontist will always, always ask how you damaged a retainer that is so securely affixed to your teeth.  I guess my love of pistachios is his bread and butter.

3 Comments
by Bonnie Anderson on October 16, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Stuff I Go Through
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Posted by Bonnie Anderson on October 16, 2012

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2012/10/16/the-power-of-the-pistachio-thats-a-tough-nut-to-crack/

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