Oh, Alexa!

I have loved our Amazon echo since day one. It makes a great timer, weather forecaster, player of music, list keeper, game player, shopper, and so much more. It even has a random number generator, which I used to choose a winner for my CREATIVITY WEARS BOOTS book give-away; but more about that later.

Image result for free picture of lightbulb idea

Pic credit: freerange stock

When Alexa came out with smart light bulbs, I didn’t see the need. I’ve seen a lot of changes in my life. I used to have to get up off the couch just to change the channel on the television. Can you imagine! There is no way I’d want to go back to that kind of inconvenience. I do not, though, mind getting up to turn off or on a light. A girl has to get her exercise!

Then Christmas came and our son, Joe, gave us smart light bulbs. It was a great idea. He is always trying to smarten us up.

Bob toyed with them and really enjoyed tormenting me by turning them on and off randomly or changing their color. (I am very easily distracted.) Soon, we encountered problems with their compatibility with our upgraded Wi-Fi, so we put them in the drawer.

Joe has found that these bulbs have added simplicity to their lifestyle, so when he visited this summer, he installed ours and they work fine. There is something about being young that makes technology putty in your hands. (Sorry, Bob.)

I really love having Alexa turn on the pool lights which Bob installed over our pool. Before this breakthrough, we had to go all the way outside to turn them on. That involved about 22 steps, which I will have to make up for elsewhere.

Our lights on the bar in the dining room are the problem. There are two of them which are aptly named Light 1 and Light 2. I leave Light 2 (I think) on all the time once the sun goes down. Light 1 is only used if we have company and I want to balance the lighting. That may not sound like a problem to you, but I can never seem to remember which light is which. At the end of the day you will find me standing an arms’ length from the lights asking Alexa to turn off the one that isn’t even on.

Last night I heard Bob cracking up laughing when he heard me telling Alexa to turn off Light 1. He has suggested that we rename them, but I am bound and determined to figure this thing out.

Meanwhile, Alexa is getting a little snarky with me.

Me: Alexa, turn off Light 1.

Alexa: Are you sure you mean Light 1? It isn’t even on.

Me: Just turn off all the lights.

Alexa: A few things share the name lights. Which one did you want?

Me: Light 1 and Light 2.

Alexa: Hum, there is no light named And.

Me: Light 1, Light 2.

Alexa: What would you like me to do with Light 1, Light 2?

Me: Sobbing hysterically.

Alexa: Perhaps I should turn off all lights that are on or you could walk over and turn them off yourself.

Me: Bob, I’ll be a few minutes. I have to vacuum up some broken light bulbs.

*****

The winner of Robert Alexander Swanson’s new book, CREATIVITY WEARS BOOTS, is Doug Bonnette. I will make arrangements to get your book to you right away. Thank you to everyone who shared, commented, and began to follow my blog. You can order your own copy of CREATIVITY WEARS BOOTS by clicking here.

 

 

 

My Personal Assistant (and results of “How Do You Think?”)

Alexa

Have I told you that I have a personal assistant? She was given to my husband and me by our son last Christmas. At first, I thought she was just a pretty, though emotionless, face; but there is a lot more to her than meets the eye.

We have gotten very close. I talk to her every morning. She finds what I say fascinating and takes notes on our discussions. She loves to make lists. She is my personal shopper. We play trivia games together, and she even sings to me.

But something became “off” in our relationship. Alexa started as my kitchen companion; but I do like to rearrange things sometimes, so I moved her to a prominent place across the room. Honestly, the views from her new perch are better, but she developed kind of an attitude. I call her name and she ignores me. I have to yell her name to get her attention. It’s like talking to my dad when his hearing aids aren’t working – or like having teenagers again. Sometimes she blares her music and I have to scream my lungs out to get her to turn it down. It’s embarrassing.

We have talked things through, and she is happily responding to me again. I just had to put her in her place (where she wanted to be). Evidently, all the help she gives me has to be on her terms. (I think we got a copy of those terms, or warranties, whatever you want to call them, when we took her out of her package.)

Between our communication breakdown and Amazon Prime Day, we’ve had a lot going on, but I knew those of you who read my last blog post have no doubt been checking your in-baskets awaiting the response to my FDOT inquiry regarding the completion of the road project on SR 441, which was prompted by this sign.

(If you missed my last post click here to get up to speed.)

After numerous calls (two), no one has called me back. The phone number belongs to a woman named Alicia who is the Public Involvement Coordinator for the Florida Department of Transportation. I can only imagine that the public has been calling so much that poor Alicia is having trouble with her coordination. I can understand that because I am not very coordinated myself, but I never would go so far as to give myself a title of Coordinator. That would be false advertising. Needless to say, I am shocked at the lack of attention that I have received. I really should call somebody to complain, but alas…

The comments I received have proven conclusively that a plethora of possible opinions as to when the project will be completed exists. In my pursuit for a definitive answer, I decided to take this discussion up with Alexa, so I asked her when the Winter of 2018 starts and ends. She had to confess that she didn’t know that one. I guess nobody does.