All posts by Bonnie Anderson

Beware of the Couch – Part 3 of 3

Wednesday I began telling the history of couches in our family which leads up to an incident that I didn’t want to tell you about my husband. As a reminder, he has insisted that I should tell this story in the hopes that it will help even one person. Today I conclude the story from the point where I realized that things aren’t always as perfect as they seem.

One night about four months into owning this perfect couch, we had a gathering of about 18 people. Bob and I were sitting across from our couch when we noticed it bowing in the middle. The guys flipped it over and, lo and behold, the delivery men had not set the center leg on the thing. The frame had bent and was starting to crack. The furniture store was extremely apologetic and said we could replace it, but that couch was no longer being made so we had to pick out something else. Oh, the agony!

We picked out a couch that was definitely second fiddle to the other one, but we were limited in our choices so we settled. We told ourselves it would do. It didn’t. After less than a year the cushions were wearing and it hurt my back to sit on it. It was the joke of our family how I never sat on my couch. After about five years, my father-in-law had mercy on me and gave us a new couch of my own choosing for Christmas. This, of course, was a mixed blessing because it meant that we could replace our couch (Hooray!) but it also meant that we had to shop (Boo!). Bob and I spent a couple of weeks looking around and eventually agreed on a fabric covered Lazy Boy that reclined on each end. This brings us to present day.

Oh Boy! Oh Lazy Boy!

Even though we no longer have children at home or pets, we had the couch treated for stain resistance. We didn’t want to take any chances.

Our new couch was delivered at 4pm on a lovely Tuesday afternoon. That night Bob and I each poured ourselves a glass of red wine and headed to the family room to watch TV. As he approached the couch, which is a light color (I know, what was I thinking), I felt fear rise up in my heart. “Are you going to sit on the couch with that?” I asked. “I just don’t want anything spilled on it the very first day.”

He gave me a reassuring look, placed his wine on the end table, and had a seat. I guess I should mention at this point that the biggest challenge in my marriage has been stain removal. That may surprise you as marriages are plagued by so many things – financial crisis, health issues, communication problems, child rearing problems – but those issues come and go while spilling things seems to last forever. Now let me state that Bob is a wonderful, caring man. He can fix just about anything and is a good provider, husband and father; but he does tend to spill…kind of a lot.

So this was the most unrelaxing glass of wine I ever had, but we got through it with no incident so I slept well thinking that my new couch had made it through its first night in our home without being spilled upon.

The next morning I smiled as I went out into the living room and saw my beautiful new couch sitting there. I happily headed to the kitchen and poured my coffee. With cup in hand I decided to live dangerously and sit on our new couch for my morning Bible reading. Now, I cannot over emphasize the importance of reading your Bible in the morning, especially when you sit on your new couch, run your hand across the new fabric, and realize that there is something spilled on it – something that looks suspiciously like red wine – something that is in the general vicinity of where your husband sat the night before with a glass of wine.

Remember, this is less than 24 hours since the Lazy Boy guys set it in our living room. I called Bob and cut right to the chase. “Honey, there appears to be something red on the couch cushion. Did you by any chance spill wine on it last night?”

He insisted that he did not.

“Well, something red is on the seat cushion,” I said. “Something that I guess we could not see last night but today in the light of day it is quite evident.”

He still insisted that he didn’t spill any wine, and then he got quiet – very quiet. “I know what it is,” he said. “It’s blood.” He hesitated and continued, “When I was sitting on the couch, being so careful not to spill my wine, I found myself picking at my toes. When I went to bed I noticed that one had been bleeding a little, but I didn’t think it got on anything. I’m so sorry.” He apologized over and over again. I know he felt terrible about it.

Here’s another little tidbit that might round this story out for you. My pet peeve is picking, especially toe picking. Hearing that click, click, click drives me crazy (and that’s not a long drive). So, with that in mind, you can only imagine that Bob really felt badly about the whole thing.

Thankfully, I was rather composed. I can only account that to God’s grace and how it’s hard to get angry at somebody while you are reading the Bible and while they feel so rotten about the incident anyway. I also will admit that I did mention to Bob at that point how I hate toe-picking and the grief it causes. I’m fairly certain that I may have said that more than once, but I didn’t get angry – not too angry anyway. I guess I was in disbelief.

So, I headed to the computer, registered my new couch’s stain removal agreement and immediately called the hotline. They talked me through how to remove the stain. It worked. It even worked the next time Bob got blood on the couch. And, I won’t even mention the day he accidentally kicked a mug of coffee that was on the floor and splashed the contents over the front of the couch (which I also was able to get out). It’s the baptism with fire, or in this case, red wine and coffee.

Now you can see why I didn’t want to tell you this story. But my sweet husband insisted that he was here to serve; and that truly if this story will help one person not pick his toes while sitting on the living room furniture and, therefore, make his wife crazy, it would be worth it. Now that’s a humble man. It’s also a humble man who has agreed that he won’t sit on the couch unless he’s wearing socks, though I don’t expect him to hold to that agreement. We do live in Florida, after all. It doesn’t really matter anyway; I am a pro at stain removal.

6 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on April 5, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Faith, Family, marriage, Stuff I Go Through

Tagged Lazy Boy, shopping for a couch, stain removal from fabric

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on April 5, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/04/05/beware-of-the-couch-part-3-of-3/

Beware of the Couch – Part 2

Yesterday I began telling the history of couches in our family which leads up to an incident that I didn’t want to tell you about my husband. As a reminder, he has insisted that I should tell this story in the hopes that it will help even one person. Today I resume with our need to purchase yet another new couch.

We waited until the furniture was pretty worn out before we decided to replace it. We had turned our living room and family room into one big room and we thought a sectional would be great. The kids were older and the pets were no longer abusing our belongings.

I scoured furniture stores looking for the right piece. After narrowing it down, Bob and I took all four kids, who by then had grown quite a bit, to try our sectional choices on for size. We found the perfect one. It fit all six of us with plenty of elbow room and it was comfortable. Still, I was hesitant to finalize the purchase. I will blame this on my friend, Moggie. Moggie is adventurous in her decor and thinks out of the box. She is one of the most creative people I know and it seems whatever idea she has works for her. I began to ponder – What would Moggie do? Would Moggie settle for a standard issue albeit perfectly sized couch? No, she would make a statement. I decided I would, too.

My statement came in the form of a blue denim couch and oversized chair that I found at a store that was more upscale than I would typically shop. I had the salesman move the items around the store so I could see them next to each other. I labored over the decision while poor Bob just wanted to get on with life and have a sofa he could sit on. Finally, we made the purchase. I was so proud of myself. I made this decision without even asking Moggie to come down to the store to critique it. This represented real growth for me. I had finally arrived – I was thinking out of the box.

The furniture was delivered and I have to say, I hated it. I don’t know what I was thinking. There was seating only for five. The proportion of the furniture was not right for our room. And, the denim look was not for me. To say that I was upset with myself is a gross understatement. I couldn’t sleep. I repeatedly burst into tears. I was a mess. The really sad part was when we went to bed that night – I tossed and turned and lamented this stupid purchase, and I was disturbing Bob; and he had to go to work the next day. So, I left our bedroom to try to let Bob rest, but there was no place to go. All the bedrooms were full of sleeping children and the only place for me was the couch, and it made me cry. How can you rest on something that upsets you so much? The answer is – you cannot. If I remember correctly I found refuge on the floor of our small office with a pillow and a blanket. I felt banned from my own living room.

By the next morning I knew I had to do something. Bob was feeling the same way, only his main concern was for my sanity and the peace of our household. I told him that I wanted to take it back. He left for work and said I could do whatever made me happy, but I should remember we bought it on clearance with no returns allowed and I shouldn’t get my hopes up.

I got in my car and headed for the furniture store only to be assured that the no return policy really does mean just that. Finally I talked to the manager who must have seen my bloodshot eyes and believed that I really was losing sleep over this purchase (or perhaps had other issues he didn’t want to deal with) and he had pity on me and let me make an exchange. I didn’t plan this and was not trying to manipulate the man, but I burst into tears. I told him how grateful I was but there was really no other item in his store that I could picture in my house which I could afford. This kind and I’m sure frustrated man broke the store policy and gave me a full refund. When I got home I called Bob who to this day is still amazed at the success of this feat of desperate determination.

Before I had any more time to think about it, Bob grabbed me by the hand and drove me to the store with the standard issue sectional. We made the purchase and lived happily with it for well over a decade. I decided right there and then that decorating “out of the box” is not a place I should ever consider going. It works for Moggie, but it surely would produce an ulcer in me.

Eventually our perfect sectional wore it out which meant that it was time to shop again. I can assure you that Bob was nervous.

We decided to go leather this time. We quickly found the couch and loveseat that we liked and bought it. It was delivered and everybody was happy. It looked great and was comfortable. We all fit on it. It was perfect and so easy this time. Or so it seemed.

Join me tomorrow as I conclude this story and reveal the “incident” regarding our current couch which my husband has so humbly insisted I share.

14 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on April 4, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Family, Friendship, marriage, Stuff I Go Through

Tagged shopping for a new couch

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on April 4, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/04/04/beware-of-the-couch-part-2/

Beware of the Couch – It Will Mess With You

I like to be open with you, but I have struggled with sharing the following story because it doesn’t put my husband in all too great a light. He asked me if I was going to blog about this incident, but I told him I just couldn’t. His humble answer, “If this will help just one person, it will be worth it. Tell the story.” So, with my dear husband’s permission, here goes.

It was with a mixed bag of emotions that I recently found myself waiting nervously for the delivery of our new couch. Every time I shop for furniture I am filled with a sense of doubt over if I have chosen the right thing, and this never shows up as clearly as when a new couch is on the horizon. Let me take you back to the history of the couch in our family.

Bob and I married in 1975 and like most people who had lived at home until they were married and also married young, we were on the poor side. Our tiny unfurnished apartment loomed large with empty space. Thanks to our parents, though, we did furnish it. It was, shall we say, eclectic. The focal points were his mom’s old sewing table, which we used for dining, and the couch from my parent’s basement. This couch had served our family well – so well that the back legs had long given out and were replaced by Reader’s Digest Condensed Books, which Mom and Dad lovingly included with the couch.

I can only imagine how happy my parents were to unload, I mean give this to us; and we were truly happy to receive it. After two years we had saved enough money for a replacement. We chose one that had legs on all four corners – we were big time. Along with the couch, we purchased a matching love seat.

At that point in our life I worked for the Social Security Administration and Bob was going to school full-time. I had contracted baby fever, a condition that carried the possibility of slowing down Bob’s exit from school with a diploma in hand, so we devised a plan to put a Band-Aid on my condition. We got a puppy.

Blondie was adorable – a little ball of golden fur. We loved having her and hated leaving her each day as we went to work and school. When we left the house we blocked her in the kitchen with a few chew toys and her bed and went about our day. Typically, Bob returned home before I did and I would call him from work when I was getting ready to leave (this was before the days of cell phones, of course). That particular day Bob seemed as normal as ever with not even a hint of trouble in his voice.

If you look closely you can see the corner is chewed up. Blondie is asking if I forgive her yet.

When I walked into our apartment, Bob was bent over the sewing machine with a worried look in his eye. Cute little Blondie had escaped from the kitchen and chewed every cushion, as well as the frame, of our new couch. I think Bob thought I was going to kill her. He may have been right. He was finishing up mending the last cushion as I came in the door. I wish I could tell you it looked as good as new, but it didn’t. The best I can say is – it wasn’t awful.

It took me a while to get over this. I reminded myself that it was just furniture, things, stuff. Stuff that we had saved for two years to buy. Stuff that still had the aroma of new furniture. Stuff that I wanted to bludgeon my dog with. You know, stuff.

Six years later we were moving into a new house and decided it was time to replace the couch. No more bite marks! Hooray. We bought a great couch and matching recliner with durable fabric that would function well with our growing family (two kids, a cat and, amazingly, the same dog). The dog hadn’t chewed anything for years so I was no longer worried about her.

In a matter of a few years we had grown by two more kids and another couple of cats. The cats made their mark on our furniture this time. They looked at our recliner as a scratching post so I traded chew marks for shredded fabric along the back of our chair. By this time, it didn’t bother me as much. I was getting used to things being torn, stained and even puked on. I was becoming an expert at stain removal, which was going to serve my husband well in the future and keep me from strangling him.

Tune in tomorrow when I will resume the story that I didn’t want to tell you about my husband.

10 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on April 3, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Family, marriage, Stuff I Go Through

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on April 3, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/04/03/beware-of-the-couch-it-will-mess-with-you/

Valentine’s Day – It’s Not for the Faint of Heart

Did I tell you about Bob and me getting cussed out by popular British singer/songwriter Adele? It was the culmination of a typical Valentine’s Day. First we went out to dinner where we were forced to eat inside a loud, crowded restaurant due to our plans for alfresco dining being washed out by heavy rain. After eating we headed to the parking lot only to witness somebody back into our car and drive off totally oblivious. (There was no damage, so we just chalked it up to Reason #14 of Why We Don’t Like Going Out on Valentine’s Day.)

Earlier we considered going to see the movie Identity Thief, but on discovering that it has about 50 f-words in it, we decided against it. So, Bob surprised me with Adele Live at The Royal Albert Hall, thinking we could enjoy a DVD concert at home. Now, there is a bit of a language barrier between citizens of the U.S. and those of Great Britain, so it took me a few minutes to realize that Adele cusses like a sailor. We likely would have been less verbally assaulted by going to see Identity Thief. (This is an example of Reason #48 of Why Valentine’s Day Never Turns Out Like You Plan.)

So, here is a summary of our Valentine’s Day:

We ate dinner in a crowded restaurant at a folding table.
We couldn’t hear each other talk.
Somebody backed into our car.
We were cussed out by Adele.

Not the worst Valentine’s Day we ever had! Next year I think we’ll stay home, order pizza and watch a movie. Maybe by then Identity Thief will be on TBS.

4 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on March 21, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Holidays, marriage

Tagged Adele, Adele Live at The Royal Albert Hall, Identity Thief, Valentine's Day

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on March 21, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/03/21/valentines-day-its-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/

The Cardinals

I’ve been watching them for weeks, so it probably won’t shock you to find out that on this rainy day I have been keeping up with the cardinals. I have always been fascinated by them and love their red caps and capes. There are four in particular that have caught my attention. I’ve watched them parade around, eat and drink, and even visit my bird bath. I think they’re a family – mom, dad and twin boys.

On a side note, I hear they are gathering in Rome to select a new pope today.

Gathering the Cardinals

Some are on the fence

Chatting over Lunch

I hope you enjoy these pictures from my backyard as we await the selection of a new pope.

7 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on March 12, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Birding, Current Events, Faith, Florida Living

Tagged Cardinals, Northern Cardinal, Pope Conclave

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on March 12, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/03/12/the-cardinals/

The Importance of Good Grammar and Coffee

Happy National Grammar Day! I love that this day falls on the fourth day of March. I always told my kids that this is the most active day of the year – march forth (I’ve taken liberty with my forth/fourth spellings).

In honor of this, my post today will contain some (oh the horror) grammatical errors. It’s up to you to find them, fair reader, as you read this true story of my pursuit of a cup of coffee. Please report your findings in the comment section of my blog. Let’s see how good you are. I believe there are four to seven errors. Three are totally unacceptable and the others are lesser offenses or perhaps matters of preference. I also realize that it is entirely possible that there might be other errors that I have not discovered. If you point out any of these, I will most likely give the impression that I made them on purpose. I’m the writer, so that’s my privilege.

I love having monkeys and butterflies on my coffee package.

Today as I write this post, I am sitting here drinking a cup of organic, shade-grown coffee from Costa Rica, which a friend of mine brought back for me from her recent trip. It is perhaps the most challenging cup of coffee that I have ever had the privilege to take a drink of.

It all started back around the first of the year. I had just cracked open a three pound bag of coffee from Costco days before Cindi gave me my present. Being the slightly anal person that I am, I decided to wait until that bag was exhausted before opening the new one.

That day finally arrived on Saturday. I was more than excited as I prepared to make myself a cup of the exquisite new brew. After a long, tiring day, I was ready for my afternoon coffee fix. The only thing standing between me and that delight was the unknown location of my coffee grinder. I didn’t leave a drawer unopened or a cabinet unrifled through. It was nowhere to be found.

Later that night, we popped into Target to get a pound of coffee just in case my grinder still proved to be eluding me. I grabbed a pound (or I should say 12 ounces, since a pound package seems to be obsolete) and we headed home.

My sweet husband was putting the coffee away for me and suddenly stopped, held up the package and asked me, “What’s this?”

Even in my tired, coffee deprived state, I knew the answer – coffee. But he kept asking so I read the label, “Dunkin Donuts Original Blend WHOLE BEAN Coffee! Nooooooo!!!”

But it was true. I bought a bunch of beans. I considered throwing them out the window to see if they would turn into a coffee beanstalk over night. Then I could send Bob up the stalk to fetch me some coffee, but I would still have to grind it, so that wouldn’t work. Instead I frantically called my neighbor. Melodye understands the importance of coffee and even had an extra grinder.

So now you know how I outsmarted my coffee grinder and am now drinking a delicious cup or organic, shade-grown, Costa Rican coffee. Thank you Cindi and Melodye.

4 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on March 4, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Friendship, Grammar, Stuff I Go Through

Tagged coffee grinders, Costa Rica coffee, Dunkin Donuts Coffee

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on March 4, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/03/04/the-importance-of-good-grammar-and-coffee/

Snakes Alive!

What is my favorite snake? The one the hawk just carried off.

If you’ve been reading my stuff for any length of time, you know that I am not a fan of sweating, physical exertion, dirt or being attacked by reptiles. All of those things disqualified me from any thought of participating in Florida’s 2013 Python Challenge, but they don’t lessen my fascination with people who throw caution, comfort and sanity to the wind to get down and dirty in their quest to achieve their goals (even if said goals are, well, crazy).

Last month I introduced you to the Challenge (see Florida is Being Invaded, The Squeeze is On), so I thought it only proper to bring you the results. You can click on http://www.pythonchallenge.org/ for more of the story, but I’ll highlight a few facts for you.

Number of pythons harvested: 68

Longest python: 14’ 3”

Most harvested by one participant: 18

Number of registrants: nearly 1600

Average number of snakes harvested per participant: 0.0425 (this is provided by me as the FWC did not go to the trouble or embarrassment of calculating this vital statistic – also, as with all mathematical references in my blog, the answer was verified by my personal IT and math guy, my husband Bob)

At this point, you are likely asking yourself two questions.

Number one – With only 0.0425 snakes caught by each of those participants, how did they manage to piece together 68 snakes?

Number two – How happy is the FWC with only a handful (they have very large hands) of snakes removed from the Everglades?

I’ll ignore the first question and go right to question number two. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) is pleased as punch with the information gathered through this challenge and isn’t complaining (out loud) about the teeny-tiny number of pythons wrangled. Also, since a female can lay 50-100 eggs, the FWC can be assumed to be hopeful that the majority of those snakes harvested were girls. This may beg the question, how do you determine the gender of a snake? My answer, I don’t.

Meanwhile, back here in Orlando, I have had my own reptilian encounter, which you will no doubt agree parallels the thrill and adventure of those in the Python Challenge.

It was a typical balmy February day. I opened my front door to head to the mailbox and came face to face with a terrifying spectacle – no, it was not girl scouts selling those irresistible thin mint cookies; it was a black racer. “Oh, a friendly snake! How nice that it’s laying on my front step,” I thought to myself, but what came out of my mouth was, “Aaaahhhhh!” as I quickly retreated into the house and slammed the door.

I gathered my composure and my cell phone and headed out the side door to assess the situation. I gave the snake a wide berth as I circled my yard and ambled toward my front door. There he was, waiting for me. Now, all I ask of the wildlife in my yard (except for birds and bears, of course) is that they be more afraid of me than I am of them, and he wasn’t cooperating. We had a face off. I stared. He stared. I took a step closer. He didn’t budge. In fact, he seemed to be posing for photos.

Considering this is a Black Racer, he wasn’t in any hurry at all.

I did the only thing I could do – I threw a stick at him. I didn’t want to hurt him, but clearly I needed to make sure he knew who was boss (he did – it was him). I’m a terrible throw and clearly he was not intimidated. I gathered my courage, took one more step in his direction, and heaved a piece of cypress mulch at him. It landed perfectly – leaning against his slender body, which was still on my front step. He looked at me and stuck out his tongue. I stuck out my tongue. It was going to be a long afternoon.

Thankfully, a person standing in the middle of her yard staring at her front door for 15 minutes does attract a certain amount of attention. My neighbor, John, came to my rescue wielding a round point shovel and an attitude worthy of hunting down even a Burmese python. The snake took off and was gone in a flash. Gone but not forgotten. It’s been a week now and I still have a feeling he’s out there ready to taunt me again. That’s why if you come to my front door, please don’t disturb the shovel I have propped up against the wall there. It’s cheap insurance against a wily old snake.

3 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on February 26, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Florida Living, Stuff I Go Through

Tagged 2013 Python Challenge, Black Racers, Burmese Pythons, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, FWC, snakes in Florida

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on February 26, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/02/26/snakes-alive/

Let Your Imagination Go Wild on Valentine’s Day

Ella’s Valentine Note to GW

I remember when my kids were young what a pain in the neck Valentine’s Day was – all those cards, all that candy! It was worse than Halloween or Easter because you added to it the notion of romantic love, which really should not be pushed on any seven-year old. I always preferred to introduce that concept to my kids when they were well into their twenties.

And, speaking of seven-year-olds, our granddaughter Ella has been preparing her Valentine cards. She is a very loving little girl and made sure not to forget anyone. She went down her list – parents, sisters, her brother Jett, Jett’s imaginary friend. Yes, she included them all.

Jett is four. He is badly outnumbered in his house by his three sisters. Thankfully, he has a very special, though imaginary, friend who is a boy. Jett’s friend is a bit different from most of the imaginary friends that I have heard about. Jett’s friend is a blankee; actually he’s more of a persona. His name is Green Wee. We don’t know why.

Green Wee, or GW for short, is so life-like to Jett that he talks about him as if he were real. He told me one day that Green Wee had his cousin visiting him. Jett was happy for him to have company and wasn’t threatened at all by another imaginary friend in the life of GW.
Sometimes GW disappears. (I guess we all need some alone time.) When that happens the entire household is enlisted on a search and rescue. Usually he hasn’t gone too far (after all, he is a blanket). GW closes himself in the bathroom cabinet when he has to “go.” I suppose his waste is akin to lint – he never puddles on the floor.

Bedtime, of course, is when GW is most needed, and he is the only one that can make Jett feel better if he gets a boo-boo. He is one compassionate blankee so I think it is entirely appropriate that Ella sent him a Valentine. It is extra special when you notice that she took the time to make sure that Green Wee knows that Jett loves him.

When I look at Green Wee, I see a well-used blanket or lint in the dryer. In Jett’s imagination he sees a friend. This challenges me to make sure that I’m not treating my loved ones like dryer lint. And I especially don’t want to be a wet blanket to them.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

12 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on February 13, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Family, Holidays

Tagged imaginary friends, Valentine's Day

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on February 13, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/02/13/let-your-imagination-go-wild-on-valentines-day/

Costco on Superbowl Sunday, Only When Necessary

What would compel my husband and me to go to Costco on Superbowl Sunday? Add to the conundrum the fact that we both had colds and weren’t feeling great. I’ll give you some hints below and then you can see if you can figure it out.

I have a list of things that I refer to as necessities (which clearly are not). If I run out of anything on that list, I will go to the store before the sun sets – it doesn’t matter if it’s raining, sweltering hot out or freezing cold, or if I am sick or healthy. I prefer not to think of this as an obsession, but as an act of love for my husband since I cannot be held responsible for my behavior if anything on my list is denied me. That list includes the following:

Coffee
Half and Half for my coffee
Splenda (again for my coffee – you may be seeing a trend developing)
Caffeine-Free Diet Coke (I can’t have the caffeinated kind because I take my caffeine in through #1 above and also have to cut out that caffeine after 4 PM. I’m so committed to this drink that for Christmas Bob bought me a new “movie purse” that is insulated so I can smuggle my precious drink that won’t keep me up all night into the movies with me since no theater ever carries decaf/diet cola drinks. The purse also has a handy pocket for my popcorn salt, which is a must-have to keep that popcorn at the right salty goodness all the way down to the bottom of the bag. Don’t mock me until you try it.)
Toilet Paper (okay, this one I really would consider a necessity)

The perfect gift from my husband – my movie purse (available at Costco, of course)

Then I have the list of things that I prefer to have. These things can wait until morning or until the rain stops. They include:

Breyer’s Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups Ice Cream, which is a wonderful blend of peanut butter light ice cream with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup pieces and a fudge swirl, and it’s only 170 calories per half cup. I periodically get stuck on a particular snack/dessert, and that becomes my go-to-snack. I’ve been stuck on this item for about three years. It may set a new record for me.
Bananas – Could there be a more perfect fruit?
Paper towels – I confess we’re a little on the messy side.
Bottled water

All I need is this ice cream, and coffee, and diet coke, sigh….

I was talking to my daughter today and lamenting going to Costco and braving the crowds on Sunday. When she asked me what it was that we needed so badly, I said, “Water. We were out.”

It sounded funny as I said it. Out of water? Oh, I’ve heard that you can get it from those spigots in the kitchen and bathroom, but I can’t see myself actually drinking that stuff.

10 Comments

by Bonnie Anderson on February 5, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Stuff I Go Through

Tagged bottled water, Breyers Ice Cream, Caffeine Free Diet Coke, Costco, popcorn salt

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on February 5, 2013

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2013/02/05/costco-on-superbowl-sunday-only-when-necessary/

My Book-Reading Year in Review

Last year in January, I noticed some of the blogs I was reading offered a list of books that the author had read in the prior year. I found the lists interesting and motivating, as well as a little intimidating. There are some voracious readers out there! I decided I would keep my own list in 2012 and share it with you.

Disclaimer: I think this is the entire list. Sometimes I forget to write things down. I can only hope that I forgot to include a couple of books that would feed my spiritual side or my marriage, but, who am I kidding. I don’t think there were any. On my 2013 list there will be.

So without further ado, here’s my list of books that I completed in 2012:

Lunatics by Dave Barry – I started the year out with humor. As I have mentioned in my blog before, I love Dave Barry. Every time he writes a new book it goes to the top of my must-read list. This book, though, was very disappointing for me. I cannot even recommend it. I did read it all the way through, but that was based on the combination of my love for Dave’s writing and my hope that it would get better. It had its moments, but it was too crude for my taste. I should have known by the title that I would go a little crazy finishing it.
Forever Erma by Erma Bombeck – This collection of Erma’s best columns was a sheer delight to read. I laughed. I cried. I read a lot of it aloud to my husband (Bob). Oh, Erma, how I miss you!
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins – I had to know what all the fuss was about. My daughter and husband had both read the book and raved about it. The movie was coming out. I succumbed to the pressure. During the first third of the book you could hear me saying things like, “This is awful!” or “How can they do this?” or “This is disturbing!” Yet, I was compelled to finish this well-written story and did before the movie was released, which was my goal.
Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins – The first book was so good that I had to read this one. It was a respectable sequel to The Hunger Games – an enjoyable read.
Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins – I was committed to finish the series. Unfortunately, in my opinion, the finale was lacking in comparison to its predecessors.
Manhunt, The 12 Day Chase for Lincoln’s Killer by James Swanson – Easily the most gripping book I read last year. How Mr. Swanson could cover those 12 days in the life of so many different characters was beyond explanation. I felt like I was watching a play with scene changes. It was tremendous.
The Limpopo Academy of Private Detection by Alexander McCall Smith – This is the 13^th offering in my favorite book series, The Number One Ladies Detective Agency. It is set in modern-day Botswana. I am amazed at the how each book in this charming series gets better than the one before it.
You are a Writer (So Start Acting Like One) by Jeff Goins – I am thankful that I read this book. At least there is one on my list that helped me in my craft!
Ivy and Bean by Annie Barrows and Sophie Blackall – I read this book to Mia and Ella (my granddaughters who are 9 and 7). We all enjoyed the relationship of the title characters who have nothing in common except the street they live on, yet become best friends.
The Great Cake Mystery by Alexander McCall Smith – I was thrilled to see a children’s book based on the main character of the Ladies Detective Agency. This shows her early inclinations to solve mysteries. My granddaughters and I loved it.
Through the Eyes of Grace by Debi Gray Walter – This is the premier book written by my wonderful friend, Debi. It was a privilege to walk with Debi as she wrote the book and discuss it with her as it progressed. The finished product is a wonderful tribute to her grandmother, but even more it’s a story of God’s grace and an encouragement to get to know the older generations in one’s family.
The Deepest Waters by Dan Walsh – This is the second book of Dan’s that I have read. It is a totally captivating love story featuring a shipwreck. My husband and I both enjoyed it immensely.
Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand by Helen Simonson – Set in England, Major Pettigrew is a very proper older man who discovers friendship and love in an unusual way. The New York Times compared Simonson with McCall Smith, so I had to give this a try. I do see some similarities and I enjoyed the unfolding of the story and its very satisfying ending.
Curiosity Killed the Cat Sitter by Blaize Clement – While on vacation, Bob and I stopped in a cute little book store in Sarasota. As I perused the section devoted to local authors, I came upon this book. The title reeled me right in. I did enjoy the book up until the last few chapters, which were too graphic for me; and, therefore, like Dave Barry’s Lunacy, I can’t recommend it.
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson – This is another book I read to my granddaughters. Hearing them laugh like crazy and then quote the book back to their parents was more than rewarding. All I can say is, I don’t care how old you are, if you haven’t read this book, read it. It’s a hoot and a holler with a great message.
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien – Finally, I read something by Tolkien. I was embraced by his lovely story telling from the very first chapter. When my kids were reading this book I was too busy driving them every place imaginable, doing laundry and cooking dinner to do much reading. At that point, every time I sat down with a book I ended up taking an impromptu nap. When they released the trailer for this movie, I determined to read the book before seeing it. Mission accomplished. Both the book and the movie were great.