All posts in category Family

“One Day You’ll Miss This…”

Bob and I finally watched all six of our grandchildren at the same time.  After a good night’s sleep and a hearty lunch we were as prepared as possible for their arrival (ages 9, 7, 5, 4, 4, 6 months).  They were with us for dinner so we set up an assembly line of bowls, filled them up and called the kids to come eat.  We observed the emergence of two distinct eating groups.

Group One will eat just about anything we put in front of them and then scavenge the pantry, the refrigerator and even our plates for more food.  Their goal is to leave as little food in my house when they leave as possible.

Group Two practically requires an IV for nutrition or possibly the surgically assisted opening of their mouths to a space large enough for a fork or spoon.  They are unaware of the starving children in Africa and we have to work hard at keeping them from being starving children in Orlando, though as soon as we give up on making them eat their dinner, they will be hungry and want yogurt or cheese.

pj 001

Thanks for keeping my floor clean, PJ.

When finally we were able to get Group One to stop eating and Group Two to eat enough to ward off starvation, we excused them to watch a show while we surveyed the damage.  That was the point when I realized how much I miss my dog.  We always had a dog when our children were young and truly there is no better friend than one who will lick your floor clean after every meal.

In case you think I’m lamenting dog ownership, let me assure you that I am not.  Besides, according to the No More Pet Pact of 2011, (click here to read about this on my former blog), a pet is not an option.  On-going training of the children is the only option.  Yes, it’s hard.  Eating while sitting squarely on your chair and aimed at the table does not come as naturally to a four-year-old as licking the floor does to a dog, but I know it can be done.  Most adults are a testimony to that, but I digress.

Anyway, after the kids were in bed, Bob and I reminisced about our own days of parenting our four children.  We remembered people telling us that one day we’d miss this, that or the other.  As we sat in the quiet room, exhausted, we compiled a list of five things that people will sometimes say that one day you’ll miss, and we have decided that we don’t:

  1. Of course, topping the list is trying to get the kids to eat their dinner.  They love chicken and chicken nuggets, but throw chicken potpie on their plate and you’d think we served up gruel with chunks of liver and brussels sprouts.  Being the grandmother, though, I am a little more merciful.  I can remember many tearful dinners trying to get my children to eat.  Now I hardly cry at all.
  2. Getting poop stuck under your fingernails during a diaper blow-out.  Enough said.
  3. Scooping a floater out of the tub during the kids’ bath time.  I’ll never forget the first time this happened.  We had a couple of our kids in the bath together and one started screaming.  Bob calmly came in and bare-handed the offensive fecal matter.  Yes, he is my hero in so many ways.  I remember looking at him and saying, “Someday we’ll miss this.”  Ha, ha, ha – not really.
  4. Boogers everywhere including in a row on the wall around their bed, on the bottom of the top bunk, on the headboard of the bed, crusted to the back seat area of the car.
  5. Bedtime stall tactics:  No, you cannot have one more last drink of water.  One story and one song sung is all you get.  There are no monsters under the bed.  Daddy killed them all this morning.  Wolves cannot turn the doorknob to get in the house and we won’t let them in either.  Besides, we live in Florida, you should be afraid of alligators not wolves.  Yes, I too am concerned about the proliferation of nuclear weapons in the world today, but for tonight you just have to go to sleep.

These are some of the things that I really do miss:

  1.  Cuddling with sleepy children when they wake up in the morning.
  2. The mispronunciation of certain words, for example, pianio.  I didn’t want to correct my daughter on that one because it was so cute.  (Now that she’s all grown up, I guess I’ll tell her how it’s really pronounced.)
  3. The awe and excitement of watching them learn new things.
  4. The “let’s say we do this” conversations of plotting while pretending.
  5. Hugs around the neck with all their might.

But, of course, these things make appearances again in the form of grandchildren.  It’s a good process.  I’m grateful.

14 Comments
by Bonnie Anderson on December 4, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Family
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Posted by Bonnie Anderson on December 4, 2012

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2012/12/04/one-day-youll-miss-this/

What Happens When Sunday School and Second Grade Collide?

In August I ventured into some new yet familiar waters.  One day a week, in an effort to assist my daughter in home schooling, my granddaughters come over for “Grandmom School.”  The idea came to me last spring, but I was hesitant to tell anyone for fear I was actually being prompted by God to do this and, therefore, might have to follow through.

When at last I broke down and told Bob, he said he thought it was a good idea. I mentioned it to Dena and I’m not sure, but I think I saw a tear in her eye as she jumped up and down and immediately said “Yes.”  So now every Thursday is a school day.  We are focusing on language arts – spelling, reading, writing, penmanship.  The girls are in second and fourth grade.  Dena has two other children who are six months old and four.  I thought she and the other kids would benefit from a day off while I worked with the girls for her.

Having been down this road before, I determined not to assume that Dena had omitted anything from their education.  Kids can make you look bad, and I didn’t want to think the worst when they didn’t know things that I thought they should have already been taught.  They forget from year to year.  Add to that this new home-school setting where they are completely comfortable with me but not as their teacher, and I was ready for them to shout out the first thing that popped into their budding little brains when asked a question.

At least I thought I was ready.

We had been reading The Great Cake Mystery by Alexander McCall Smith.  It is set in Botswana, so I added a study of that country.  They also learned about animals of Africa, which was their favorite part, and we reviewed the continents and the oceans, just to make sure they were seeing the big picture.

During this study, we compared the United States with Botswana, and I asked them a few things about our country.  In hindsight, I may have shifted gears too quickly for them, but it did make for an interesting conversation.  Here is a sample.  The girls’ responses are in italics.  I won’t attribute to a particular child, but I will say that Ella is the fastest to shout out an answer, being first to answer is what it’s all about for her, right or wrong.  If they can just match the exuberance of answering a question with listening to the entire question and thinking it through, they’ll be fine.

Me – “What is the capital of the United States?

The United States of America.

Well, that’s the complete name of our country.  What is the capital of The United States of America?

The White House.

Okay, let’s back up a bit.  Who is the current president of the United States?

Barack Obama.

Good.  Now who was our first president?

Silence

Can you name any other president besides President Obama?

Silence

I know you know at least one more.  Think a minute.  You read a book about a president last year.  He was very tall and wore a stove-pipe hat.

Silence

Okay, remember that we visited the capital last year and we went to several museums and saw many monuments.  One had a huge statue of our sixteenth president sitting on a chair.  Another monument is tall and looks like a pencil.  It is named for our first president, just like the capital is.  The first president is sometimes referred to as the father of our country.

I know – Father Abraham.

It was all I could do at this point not to break down – I was holding back tears, laughter and having to restrain myself from singing Father Abraham, but I kept going.  Finally they shouted out George Washington.  I was exhausted!

Ella “holding” the Washington Monument

Later I got to thinking – Maybe I should make sure they are not confusing Abraham Lincoln with the Abraham of the Old Testament, but I was too afraid to go there.  The learning continues.

12 Comments
by Bonnie Anderson on November 27, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Family, Stuff I Go Through
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Posted by Bonnie Anderson on November 27, 2012

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2012/11/27/what-happens-when-sunday-school-and-second-grade-collide/

A Plethora of Pumpkins

Now that I’ve written off pistachio nuts as an expensive and dangerous food (see my last post, The Power of the Pistachio), I’ve turned to my favorite fall food infatuation – pumpkin.  It’s everywhere and in everything (and thankfully it’s too soft to break my retainer).

I love to put fall decorations around my house as a clever ruse to trick myself into thinking the weather has changed.  Pumpkins are a big part of that ruse.  Of course I only have to walk to the mailbox to realize it’s still summer like here, but I take what I can get.

Pumpkin Pleasures

I poured myself a cup of coffee with pumpkin spice flavoring in it and then it dawned on me that I am surrounded by plenty of pumpkins.  With that in mind, I made a little contest for myself to see if I could gather ten pumpkins/pumpkin featured items in two minutes.  I was up for the challenge and surpassed my number by four.  Here’s my list:

  1. Basket of pumpkins
  2. Can of pumpkin
  3. Pumpkin shaped tea light holder with pumpkin candle in it
  4. Picture of Mia surrounded by pumpkins
  5. Pumpkin votive holder
  6. Yankee Candle, Pumpkin Patch scent
  7. Pumpkin shaped bowl of candy
  8. Pumpkin shaped bowl of candy again
  9. Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin soap by Bath and Body Works
  10. Pumpkin topped Pez dispenser
  11. Light Yoplait Pumpkin Pie yogurt
  12. Pumpkin muffin
  13. Pumpkin cake
  14. Pumpkin Spice Coffee-Mate

I guess you really could say that I have a plethora of pumpkins.  Go ahead, say it, it’s as much fun to say as it is to eat pumpkin pie (almost).

And if that weren’t enough about pumpkins, this picture of my daughter-in-law in a pumpkin patch picking out a pumpkin reveals that she truly is the perfect wife for my son.  Every year she searches for the perfectly shaped pumpkin and it becomes the butt of many jokes.  Can you see why she fits in our family so well?  I love her sense of humor.

This one’s perfect. It’s a pumpkin, butt…

4 Comments
by Bonnie Anderson on October 23, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Family, Seasons
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Posted by Bonnie Anderson on October 23, 2012

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2012/10/23/a-plethora-of-pumpkins/

And the Winner is…

Competitiveness has taken on a whole new look in our family.  We all pride ourselves on being serious game players.  Whatever we’re playing and whoever we are playing against, we play to win.  I know we’ve passed down this quality to our kids (sorry, kids), and they’ve even married people who fit in with us quite nicely.  But, like I said at the outset of this post, we’ve just taken it up a notch.

At a recent family gathering my eldest son asked a simple question to his siblings, “How many of you have visited Grandpa at the Assisted Living Facility?”  It was a two-two split, with an edge given to the son who lives out of town and hadn’t visited the ALF.

I think the inquirer was hoping for a little company in his non-visiting status, but leave it to him to make a new competition out of the situation.  Next he asked, “Let’s see who the most pathetic really is.  Who reads Mom’s blog?”

Here he was left as the lone hold-out.  It’s not like he’s not supportive of my writing; he is.  He’s just not into reading blogs so I think he was a little surprised to be the only non-reader out of the seven kids.*  Surprised or not, he proudly declared himself the Most Pathetic.  Yep, that’s how our family is – if you’re going to do something, or not do something, do it all the way, you know, win.

I think we’re going to have to come up with new criteria for the Most Pathetic award, though, because the following week he subscribed to my blog.  He might even be reading it.  I guess I’ll find out for sure after this post, so this is my thank you to him for reading and a welcome to my blog.

*Four of whom I gave birth to, three of whom married my children, all but one of whom had actually read at least one blog entry.  Such reading may or may not have been coerced, but it still counted in the contest as points for having read my blog.  But now that I think about it, my one son-in-law was awfully quiet during this exchange, but since he had visited the ALF, he still was ahead.  The final opinion of the judges stands as no instant replay of this discussion is available.

3 Comments
by Bonnie Anderson on October 2, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Contests, Family

Posted by Bonnie Anderson on October 2, 2012

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2012/10/02/and-the-winner-is/

Famous People Who Almost Know Me

This morning for some strange reason, I started trying to list in my mind all of the famous people I have come in contact with.  I’m sure this has something to do with the fact that I’ve been watching the Orioles in their pennant race and listening to Jim Palmer do color commentary during the games.  I once met Jim.  I’m sure he remembers.  Anyway, here is the resultant list of famous people who almost know me and the moments when we sort of met.

#1 – My Ah-choo Moment – One day I was walking through the mall and I heard a sneeze.  To my surprise it came from Orlando Magic point guard Jameer Nelson.  Now normally I would never (probably never) approach a celebrity while out with his family, but you can’t let a sneeze just hang there without a proper caring response.  So, yes, I was able to give Jameer a blessing – a “God bless you” blessing.  Surely that would not count as an invasion of privacy.  Now since I am a fan, and I’m old enough to be his mother; and especially since this happened during the play-offs, I added, “You need to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.  We need you to stay healthy.”  He thanked me.  I’m counting that as a conversation with an NBA superstar.

Jameer Nelson and Dwight Howard
Photo Credit: Wikipedia

#2 – My Stand-Out Moment – Traveling home on a plane from Atlanta, I was in coach sandwiched between my husband and a young man of about twenty.  As I engaged him in conversation, I discovered he was a close friend of Dwight Howard and was, in fact, traveling with Dwight, who was enjoying the additional leg room offered in first class.  Dwight would often fly this fellow back to Atlanta with him so that they could both visit their families and friends there.  I think that’s pretty stand-out of Dwight – it could only be sweeter if he flew him first class, too.  As we disembarked, we saw Dwight sitting on a bench with his buddy.  Dwight’s knees were under his chin.  He was way too tall for that bench which was designed for mere mortals.  Of course, the entire story is now tainted by Dwight’s inexcusable flight from Orlando to Los Angeles, but since I did wave goodbye to my new friend as he sat with Dwight, this still counts as Dwight almost meeting me.

#3 – My Jab-in-the-Ribs Moment – A few years ago while visiting Oriole Park at Camden Yards, the stadium of my beloved Baltimore Orioles, I was thrilled to see All-Star first baseman Boog Powell manning his restaurant under the green tent behind the centerfield bleachers.  Boog’s BBQ is famous for ribs and, of course, barbeque.  The big man himself was happily greeting passersby and I was able to introduce myself to him and shake his beefy hand.  I spent my tenth birthday watching him and the rest of the 1966 Orioles playing at the old Memorial Stadium in Baltimore.  My mother is the quintessential Oriole fan and has pioneered the art of fandom in our family, so this was quite the day for me.

#4 – My Squirrelly Moment – Bob Ross is best known as the painter of “happy little trees” who offers painting lessons on “The Joy of Painting,” but he is lesser known as the guy to whom kids took injured squirrels.  Bob Ross died in 1995, but before that time he was a resident of our little neighborhood.  I did not know that he had an affinity for needy squirrels and birds, but my kids figured it out.  They had witnessed him opening his front door to them with a squirrel on his shoulder.  I never met him myself, but I’m counting him.  We still refer to his house as “The Bob Ross House.”

Bob Ross
Photo Credit: Wikipedia

#5 – My Hall-of-Fame Moment – Back in the 1983, Oriole pitcher and now baseball Hall of Fame member, Jim Palmer, endorsed Jockey Underwear.  He was making an appearance at the local mall, and I made it my mission to get his autograph for my mother.  I strapped my daughter in the stroller and took my four-year-old son by the hand and waited in the long line.  Thankfully the kids were happy, so happy that the local news station caught us on film and we made the six o’clock news that night.  “We” is an overstatement though, as it was only my daughter and I who were on the news.  My son was brokenhearted as he watched and there was not a glimpse of him.  I’m pretty sure that was the birth of sibling rivalry in my family.

How about you?  Who is on your list of famous people who almost know you?

12 Comments
by Bonnie Anderson on September 18, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Celebrities, Family
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Posted by Bonnie Anderson on September 18, 2012

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2012/09/18/famous-people-who-almost-know-me/

No Such Thing as a Free Prescription

My daughter Dena is one of those crazy (in a good way) young moms who isn’t afraid of anything.  Last week she and I were chatting on the phone.  As we were winding up our conversation she said, “I have to go.  I’m heading to the doctor in an hour.”

When I asked her why, she said she was sick and running a fever.  I offered to come and get the three older kids so she would only have the baby with her, but she said the nurse said to bring them, that she’d be in and out quickly.  I offered again, but like I said, my daughter’s crazy brave.  On hindsight, I should have rushed over and taken them anyway – the fever probably worked against her decision-making process.

Things went fairly well in the doctor’s office, except for the part where she was in the examination room and the nurse informed her that her daughter looked out the window and saw they had left the van door open.  That’s not exactly what you want to hear while you are donning a paper outfit; but that was easily resolved with the key fob.

Next she headed to Publix where many antibiotics are free and decided to pick up a few things for dinner while she waited for her prescription (making the price of the free prescription now about $28.50).  This was the point where her launch window closed.  Conditions were no longer favorable for a safe trip.  The mission should have been scrubbed.  But she pressed on.

While they were waiting for the prescription, the melt down began.  During that time there were a couple of injuries and numerous complaints from the kids.  The freezer section left them frozen.  They were tired from their day, not to mention starving.  Thankfully, a good distraction was found next to the prescription window – the chair with the blood pressure monitor was just begging to be sat in.  One child tried playing in it and that looked so exciting to three-year-old Jett that he ran across the floor, tripped and slid head first into the hard chair.  As he’s screaming and the manager is approaching, Dena is still waiting for her drugs (at this point the more the merrier).

So with voices crying, “I’m hungry.”  “I’m cold.”  “I have a concussion,” she headed home with deli chicken and medicine, and of course the cold, hungry, and concussed children.  Just another day.  When she told me about it later, I was so tempted to say, “I’ll bet you were kicking yourself for not letting me come get them.”  But that wouldn’t have been kind.

I confess, I said it anyway, along with a thank you for the blog post.

8 Comments
by Bonnie Anderson on August 28, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Family
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Posted by Bonnie Anderson on August 28, 2012

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2012/08/28/no-such-thing-as-a-free-prescription/

The Family Secret

Time reveals the effect your words have on others.  As I spent the day with Ella, my nearly seven-year-old granddaughter whose picture is above, she let me in on how my words had affected her.  It all started many years ago, before Ella was even thought of.

When I was a young mother, I tried to find ways to encourage the kids to respect their dad.  Kids are so oblivious to all fathers do for them; it helps to point things out.  One night as we finished our dinner I told the kids they had to remain at the table because it was time to tell them the family secret.  They were alive with anticipation (or were they complaining because they wanted to go outside and play, either way they were a captive audience).

I glanced at my husband at the other end of the table and then I began, “Kids, you are about to hear something so incredible you may not believe it, so before I tell you, you must promise never to tell anyone what you are about to hear.”

They promised and then I told them, “Your father is Superman.”

They had disbelief in their eyes, but I explained how they never see their dad and Superman in the same place.  Dad wears glasses.  He likes to help people.  I went on and on about him, but I don’t think they really believed me.  Since I never cracked a smile and was not in the habit of lying to them, it gave them something to think about.

Flash forward to Father’s Day this year.  We had all of our children and our six grandchildren over and I felt it was time for the grandkids to know the truth about their “Bumpa.”

I brought a wrapped present to the table.  Bob opened it and revealed a Superman coffee mug.  With that on display I said, “Kids, I think you’re old enough now to handle our family secret.”  I made them raise their right hands and promise never to divulge this to anyone.  The kids being 9, 6, 5, 4, and 3 (we didn’t make the two-month-old raise her hand) were happy to comply.  I poured it on good, and their wide eyes revealed that they believed every word.  I explained how it only looks like Bumpa is going to play golf or working.  Often times he is out saving people.

Bob (Bumpa) just sat there receiving their admiration.  They asked him questions and he told them just like he told our children, you never see me and Superman together.  Now you know why.

I had no idea how seriously these words were taken.  My daughter Dena informed me that her kids were asking if she also had superpowers – it only stood to reason that she would.  She told them they were not ready to know the truth just yet.

So back to Ella.  She was over the other day and asked where Bumpa was.  I told her he was playing golf.  She moved close to me and whispered, “You mean he’s out saving someone, don’t you.”

She thinks about this all the time.  She asked me if I had superpowers and I had to admit that I do not.  “I’m more the Lois Lane type,” I explained.

To top things off, I took Ella to run errands with me recently and she told me, “Grandmom, I almost told our secret!  I came so close, but you’d be proud of me because I didn’t.”

I will never forget that conversation.  I hugged Ella tightly and was tempted to tell her my secret, the one where I made up the whole thing, but I couldn’t bring myself to burst her bubble.  So please, if you see my grandkids, keep my secret safe.  Thank you.

8 Comments
by Bonnie Anderson on August 21, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Family
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Posted by Bonnie Anderson on August 21, 2012

https://lifeonthelighterside.com/2012/08/21/the-family-secret/

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